It’s time for the last Kpopalypse Nugu Alert of 2023! Let’s look at some more nugus for the last time this year!
The end of the year is coming up, which means that there’s only a limited amount of time left for music to potentially get on the end of year lists. That’s why I’ve been spamming Nugu Alerts at you readers lately, so I can give the maximum amount of songs a chance. Therefore this episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert has no special theme of any kind, but is purely dedicated to clearing out some songs I’ve had in archives for a little while, so they get their fair shot at potential list inclusion. Let’s take a look!
Usual criteria apply:
Less than 20,000 views on official channels
Even less relevant than your favourite k-pop group’s NFT project
Relevant to Kpopalypse
Read on for the nugus!
Gongtokki – Bad heart
I don’t know anything about Gongtokki but the song they’ve got is deeply atmospheric, punctuated with a whole bunch of strange ambience like weird nails-across-chalkboard noises and it actually works, turning what would otherwise be a bit dreary into something interesting. It certainly matches visually with the weird tale of a couple that I didn’t completely understand and that probably deserves it’s own “Bad Heart – explained” video instead of whatever other Captain Obvious music video narrative YouTubers will cover these days for clickbait (“What Is Love” is about wondering what love is? Gosh.) Mind you the viewcount here is pretty decent for a nugu, I’m not sure if that’s because the group are well known in independent music circles, have a good promotional strategy, or perhaps it’s just repeat plays adding up from people trying to work out what the fuck is going on in the video, but the package is solid and let’s hope they make it out Nugu Alert eligiblity soon.
YouTube views at time of writing: 17032
Notable attribute: in the midst of an existential crisis of violence there’s always time for a game of Time Crisis 4
Nugu Alert rating: average
PATTERN – Miro
Pattern had a pretty dull debut with “Malibu” a year ago which didn’t get much attention, and the group are still floundering about in nugu status now with their new song, which is a shame as it’s actually rather decent this time. There’s nothing all that special about it, it’s just upbeat while at the same time being kind of smooth and nice and not doing anything too stupid or dumb. The video’s also serviceable if nothing that special, with the group using their nugu freedom to shoot in some fairly nondescript public access locations without anyone around them giving too much of a shit and cramping the spacious feel by standing around and gawking. They don’t even have anyone sitting on the far benches watching them, I guess “oh look it’s another k-pop group” is a pretty daily occurence in Korean parks and urban leisure areas and probably doesn’t warrant much interest. But hey, it’s decent overall, and If there’s only one thing wrong with the entire package it’s that they’re wearing sportball clothing, but then let’s not be too harsh, I’m sure the clothing budget only stretches so far.
YouTube views at time of writing: 6521
Notable attribute: the digital clock attached to the trellis indicates that they probably only spent an hour shooting in the outdoor court setting which is pretty efficient actually
Nugu Alert rating: high
D-ONE – Onedance
Okay so I guess “Onedance” might actually be the intended group name here, but they can’t abbreviate it to “ONE-D” or the One Direction fans will all have a shit-fit while driving their kids to school, so “D-ONE it is, I guess. A little unfortunate as insinuating that your group is “done” probably isn’t the wisest marketing choice, but then it’s hardly the worst group name I’ve seen in k-pop this week. Once again we have a decent song though, which just gets down to business and delivers hooks with no messing about. The video is similarly no frills being all shot in one room, although they did at least go to the effort of making separate ‘night’ and ‘day’ settings and changing the props around a little (including coloured fluorescent tubes, a nugu studio favourite). For some reason the reclining teddy bear and red locker both seem exempt from all set decoration changes, I guess that locker is where they’re storing all the hard boiled egg halves and celery sticks. At least they put some warning signs up on the very dangerous place where the couch was at during the daytime, I guess perhaps it belonged to Kim Hyun Joong.
YouTube views at time of writing: 5932
Notable attribute: milk crates are in the day shot but not the evening shot, I guess they felt guilty and returned them to the supermarket
Nugu Alert rating: high
ROLIGHTS – Rest
Rolights are so nugu that they don’t even really have any proper MVs so we’ll have to make do with this ‘band MV’ which is kind of the same thing I guess. They also don’t have a bass player which is obviously a massive oversight because playing bass is cool, much cooler than the overpriced PRS guitar that they do have because PRS lost all their cool when their CEO told everyone he believes in “tonewood“, ouch, what a moron. Still, these virgins with too much money still have a reasonable song, so let’s not hate on their lifestyle choices. They’ve also got pretty snappy dress sense which is important, because when you’re in a band you’re supposed to dress one level above your audience so the security at the venue doesn’t think you are the audience and suddenly not let you onto your own stage. On top of that there’s a pretty rad guitar solo, so all in all it’s not a bad package even if the song itself does kind of lack a little something and sounds a little bit too similar to the numetalish bands that play around my area.
YouTube views at time of writing: 689
Notable attribute: lamp besides the guitar amplifier was clearly not deemed aesthetically pleasing enough to be actually switched on
Nugu Alert rating: extreme
That’s all for Kpopalypse Nugu Alert in 2023! The series will return in 2024!
