Kpopalypse is back with the seventh instalment in the Wonho games series!
Thanks to the solid efforts put in to support Wonho by his fans the previous installment in the Kpopalypse Wonho games series, Wonho has returned to civilian life in perfect health and has resumed k-pop activity!
Of course, here at kpopalypse.com we can’t just rest on our laurels. We need to keep Wonho healthy and happy! So since he’s a bit of a gamer, here’s a new selection of computer games that I think he’d enjoy. You could of course play them too, if you wanted.
If you’ve missed previous episodes in this series and would like to catch up, fear you may have missed out on important faps, or are a new reader who just wants to know why this series exists at all, the following links are here for your reference:
First Wonho guide (start here if you’re new to this series)
Now that you’re up to date – let’s move on with the seventh guide to the best erotic computer games if you’re Wonho!
ROLE PLAYING GAMES
Witch Of Eclipse
Kagura Games store page (uncensored)
Patch for censored versions from Kagura Games
“Witch Of Eclipse” is a pretty generic RPG in terms of story, I can’t even remember exactly what happens. There’s definitely a witch called Liz (pictured below, and yes she does bear a passing resemblance to Liz from IVE thanks to the hairstyle), and there’s probably a eclipse at some point or maybe there isn’t, and something something king castle dungeon something, that’s about all I can recall. I do remember the gameplay which is mainly just dungeon-crawling stuff, talking to people in towns and that’s about it really. Honestly I skipped through a lot of the exposition, it’s pretty uninteresting.
Liz’ ladies night on the town was going well until she happened to run into SHINee’s Onew at the club
The main draw of this game for Wonho game aficionados is probably that it’s by developers OneOne1, who are always pretty bland thematically but have a fairly unique art style and tend to go pretty-all out on the classy-sexiness if that’s what you’re into. Our main character is actually surprisingly malevolent for a game of this type, and she definitely doesn’t just take things lying down (although she does that, too). While the game itself is completable in a few hours, the amount of ‘bang for your buck’ in this thing is huge, you definitely are getting a lot of content for a game of this type and pretty much every fetish you can think of is probably in here somewhere. That probably includes many of the ones you’d rather not think of, so consider yourselves forewarned.
Living With Sister: Monochrome Fantasy
Kagura Games store page (uncensored)
Patch for censored versions from Kagura Games
For something a bit more homely and down to earth, there’s “Living With Sister: Monochrome Fantasy” which is a game all about living in a country house with your sister and helping out a group of adventurers at a local inn. And that’s all it’s about, definitely nothing more than that. Although the game does allow you to make it about more than that, if you wanted. Currently sitting at an “overwhelmingly positive” rating on Steam (or it was until the Chinese review-bombed it recently for god knows what reason), I guess a lot of people really care about their sisters.
Dinner etiquette tip: don’t force your family members to do aegyo at the dinner table
I love the decision to go black and white/greyscale in this game, it’s something that I wish more games of this type would do. The art is fairly simple but there’s a lot of attention to interactivity and small details, which more than makes up any shortfall. Speaking of small details, probably the only area where this game is lacking is that I don’t think any of the women in it meet Wonho’s lockscreen standards, everyone’s fairly petite in this game. Note that if you do choose to get this game be sure to spend the extra on the additional DLC which integrates seamlessly into the original game, ups the quality level of existing content drastically plus adds an entire new game’s worth of extra stuff to do, which is a lot, I have 60 hours in this game and still haven’t seen all there is to see. Oh and this game is banned in South Korea (can’t imagine why) so Wonho if you’re thinking of looking into it, you might have to wait for your next international tour.
Handyman Fantasy
A sequel to another Wonho game I haven’t played “Handyman Legend”, word on the street is that the sequel ups the quality of the previous game’s content in every aspect so I didn’t bother with the first game. In “Handyman Fantasy” you’re a handyman who has been isekai’ed into a place where you have to do lots of jobs for the locals in the form of mini-games, such as working at a bar, sorting books at a church library, helping out some adventurers to fight in a dungeon and a few other things, and in return, they do a few jobs for you.
In the adventuring sections you don’t fight, you just cheer the girls on while they do all the hard battles, which should be familiar territory for k-pop girl group fans
The pixel art style of this game is a little different and kind of crude but it’s crude in a way that’s very visually appealing and stylish. The gameplay rhythm is fairly basic though, which isn’t a bad thing but it does mean that you’ll max out this game fairly quickly. A little more content would have been good, but it’s cheap so it’s worth picking up for the price if you really like pixel art, and adulterous sex with cowgirls.
Peeping Dorm Manager
itch.io store page (uncensored)
If you’re after a true-to-life k-pop experience “Peeping Dorm Manager” definitely isn’t it, despite the name. However it is a game where you are a manager of a dorm and you do a lot of things that people in the k-pop business have gotten into a lot of trouble for doing and… who am I kidding, nobody gets more than a slap on the wrist in this business.
What do you mean my microphone’s around the wrong way, this is how all the singers at SM Entertainment do it…
The game has a weird obsession with unfunny memes (the developers are literally called “Horny Doge Studio” which gives you a pretty good indication of what you’re in for) and there’s actually not a great deal to do in this game. It’s actually a pretty similar game to “Handyman Fantasy” in some ways but I’d say it’s not as good because the writing here is kind of shit and it doesn’t have as good of an art style. Again though this isn’t expensive so if you’re a deviant who wants to know how to set up security cams just like your favourite k-pop agency, or you read Girls909 and thought Emma was the best character and should get a book all of her own, perhaps you might get some important life lessons out of this game. But you probably won’t.
Workplace Fantasy
What’s with games in this episode with “Fantasy” in the title, I swear I didn’t plan this. “Workplace Fantasy” is a game where you’re just a boring person who goes to work at your boring job and for some reason all women that you meet are attractive and want to bone you. Oh and there’s a few weird subplots like the one about going to the gym and one about a succubus or something but honestly I wasn’t really paying that much attention to all the random shit that was happening.
Collecting evidence for the next stage of HYBE’s court case has its perks
Art here is honestly great, everything has a neat cel-shaded type of look, or maybe it isn’t, I don’t know, I’m not enough of a nerd to know what cel-shading is or isn’t, I’m Kpopalyspe not Celshaderdiscernmentalypse, point being it looks pretty good to me. My main gripe with this title is that most of the best girls don’t get much screentime and some get none at all. I really wanted to get something happening with the convenience store worker but there wasn’t even an option for it, apparently she’s in an expansion pack but having to buy an expansion pack to date her isn’t very convenient so I think she just failed at her job. I don’t think I should reward poor work performance like that, at least not until she goes on Steam discount. Anyway this game’s okay but the main selling point is the art style, get it if that appeals.
ACTION/STRATEGY GAMES
SiniSistar 2
Patch for censored versions from Eroge Japan
One type of asethetic that rarely appears in Wonho games is horror, and there’s probably some good reasons for that. Most people don’t find horrifying things to be very sexy, but if you do, then “SiniSistar 2” has definitely got you covered. I haven’t played the original game, but this sequel is supposed to be a lot better and I don’t know if that’s true, but what I can confirm is that the horror theme here is done amazingly well. The graphics here are absolutely breathtaking in places, just the sheer atmosphere and detail in the locations themselves is outstanding. It’s a beautiful game completely outside of any reasons that would get it on this list.
While training for her k-pop debut, Lelia had to resort to unusual measures to smuggle her xanax supply past the town guards
Gameplay here is a side-scrolling beat-em-up type of affair across a maze-like map, as our protagonist Lelia works to cleanse the town and surrounding rural areas of an unspecified evil corruption. And corrupt the place certainly is, as everything that lives or breathes seems to be very interested in corrupting Lelia specifically. “SiniSistar 2” appears to belong to a specific subgenre of Japanese-made Wonho games where as much effort is put into incredibly gory death scenes as anything else, and there are unpleasant things that our character can go through that would probably surprise even seasoned horror fans. However unlike a lot of other such games with similar themes, this isn’t janky or badly-programmed in the least and is quite an entertaining game in its own right, so it’s definitely worth a play if you think you can stomach the many dozens of ways that our main character doesn’t complete her objectives.
Seed Of The Dead: Sweet Home – Charm Song
Patch for censored versions from Eroge Japan
The “Seed Of The Dead” first-person shooter series is also in the horror genre, and is more typical for Japanese horror Wonho games in that it is spectacularly janky and badly-programmed. However “Seed Of The Dead: Sweet Home” (which appeared in episode five of this series) got a huge update recently and it’s worth covering. The new update “Charm Song” adds four new FPS levels, a new main character Einomaru, and an “idol mode” where the girls all undergo training to be j-pop stars, because… well, I’m really not sure, perhaps don’t think about it too hard.
Getting management to agree to extra sweets in the dorm wasn’t easy
The idol mode is actually a whole new game on its own, I found it weirdly difficult and kind of an annoying chore to play through, but it’s still an impressively decent chunk of content that you’ll want to unlock. However the real draw for me here was the new levels of “Left 4 Dead” style FPS action which are quite tricky due to their geography, length and the sheer number of enemies, they present a significant challenge which was somewhat lacking in the original game. I still don’t know how many people are really getting their Wonho on to this game’s clunky 3D models but this game is still better and cheaper than a lot of similar games that don’t have any sex scenes and if you liked the original one you should get this.
Nikke: Goddess Of Victory
A free cover-shooter gacha style game that has been widely popular, “Nikke: Goddess Of Victory” is worth covering simply due to its commitment to Wonho-friendly presentation. While there’s no sex or nudity in this game, there’s still a lot of risque outfits, knowing flirtatiousness and a definite feeling that it was created with Wonho-grade purposes specifically in mind. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if not only Wonho but several other idols also have Nikke phone lockscreens.
She’s talking about headphones, get your mind out of the gutter Wonho
It’s a shame though that the game itself isn’t much of game. It plays not much differently to the old rail shooters of the 80s and 90s where you deal with a pattern of spawning enemies that you have to neutralise within a specific timeframe before they stop standing around in your line of sight and figure out how to attack you. There are a few bells and whistles like the ability to swap between characters with different weapons and abilities during a fight, but the core experience of playing is still quite familiar and quite boring. The point of course isn’t the gameplay but the girl-collecting gacha mechanics, but unless you are particularly vulnerable to Skinner Box techniques I’d say there isn’t much here to get excited about.
Butt Knight
“Butt Knight” is a 1980s style vertically scrolling 2D shooter, that plays like arcade classics such as “1942” and “Raiden“. This isn’t a popular genre of game these days and it’s even less popular in the Wonho game scene, I can safely say I’ve never played a game like this, with these themes, in the one package. And quite a package it is: protagonist ButtKnight has a physique to rival Wonho himself, and in a quaint touch which is missing from a lot of these games, he’s also quite polite and chivalrous towards the ladies, even if that chivalry is mixed in with a healthy dose of perversion.
ButtKnight found that filling out the Kpopalypse Objectification Survey gave him the extra strength he needed to fight against the forces of no-fap, there’s a lesson here folks
While the gameplay feels a bit tired to someone like me who grew up with these games in the 80s, that feeling is balanced out by the game’s unusual presentation and some incredibly cute graphic touches. The hand-drawn comic style artwork of everything is genuinely unique and looks gorgeous, and you’ll want to see what the game offers up next simply because uncovering the art is an absolute joy. In another rarity for these games, some of the dialogue is laugh-out-loud funny and suberts a lot of the typical Wonho game cliches. This one’s pretty inexpensive so if retro gaming and seeing a man with a butt for a chin is your thing it could be worth a shot.
CASUAL GAMES
Horny Villa
Nutaku store page (uncensored)
Like a lot of free games on Nutaku, “Horny Villa” is pretty much a straight up scam, but it’s worth covering simply because while I didn’t spend any money on it I did spend a fair bit of time on it for this post and if I don’t make some content out of that time I’ll feel cheated. The actual game here is a “merge game”: find two objects in a grid of objects and combine them to make a better object, then combine two of those to make an even better object and so on, with the reward being the unlocking of various girls and interactions with those girls to push you on to ever-increasing merging. If that doesn’t sound like much of a game… actually, you’d be surprised, it’s pretty addictive in that idle-game sort of way, with an “energy system” to make sure short play runs are enforced so you never binge on this thing and bore yourself. The problem is that while the core game is enjoyable in a mindless yet oddly satisfying way, everything else around that central merge-gaming mechanic absolutely sucks.
Tip for the Horny Villa devs: getting dick isn’t forbidden in the k-pop world, what’s forbidden is getting caught getting dick
The game’s dialogue is terribly translated, the drawings of the girls are mostly not that good (and the devs are gradually replacing these with AI-gen assets that mostly aren’t much good either), there’s spelling and typographical mistakes everywhere, the game spams you relentlessly with annoying ads and FOMO offers, the dialogue tries to be funny and erotic simultaneously but just reveals a very ugly misogynist vibe which actually isn’t as present in the far more thematically extreme games on this list, I could go on and on. Worst of all, the game constantly runs “events” in a rotating loop with the top-tier rewards being basically out of reach even if you pay to progress – to call this game “pay to win” isn’t accurate as if you pay you’ve immediately lost. Like with a lot of free gacha style games, the real game isn’t between you and the game’s systems, it’s between you and the developers trying to take your money. The best way to win this type of game is not to play.
HuniePop 2: Double Date
Patch for censored versions from Team Hijack
I know this game came out a while ago, but I only recently picked it up in a sale so I could write this long-overdue review. This sequel to the hugely popular “HuniePop” (covered in the first episode of this series) features the same match-three mechanic, but adds a new twist: now your match-three “dates” are with two girls at once, who you can swap between, and your goal is to impress them both by the usual identifying things of the same colour and moving them together, something that all girls apparently love. If only someone told me impressing girls was this easy, I might’ve had more success on the dating scene when I was younger.
After upsetting k-pop fans for failing to understand US subway race relations, Amber switched careers and is enjoying her new job as an airport security guard
This sequel brings in a lot of new characters but sadly dumps the best older ones. Mega-brat Audrey Belrose, the only character from the first game with an actual personality or who resembled anyone I would consider dating in real life, is gone and replaced by her annoying weeb sister Sarah. Hot MILF teacher Aiko is also gone, and you can’t date the fairy anymore, sad times. Yet we still have to put up with the cringier characters from the first game like one-dimensional boringly generic always-horny cougar Jessie, and “sexy flight attendant” Lola whose full extent of her character is “I’m a sexy flight attendant”. On top of that the new mechanics are fussy and overcomplicated, I can see what they were trying to do to enhance the experience but having all the extra stats and systems to worry about actually takes away from the zen-like aspect of the match-three gameplay. At least the writing is sometimes funny and the nude art is somewhat better this time around, but you can probably still find better art by typing your favourite “HuniePop” character names into Google image search.
Train45
“Train45” is another type of game that I’ve yet to see before in the Wonho gaming space – a “spot the difference” game. The plot of the game is that you’re trapped on a train that never stops, and you’re not allowed to get off the train for some reason to do with evil spirits or something. The gameplay involves searching identical rail cars for “anomalies”, which are things that are different between the cars, and then using the points collected from this activity to progress interactions with the game’s female characters.
Even on a train to nowhere Reina can’t escape the obligations of her k-pop contract
The main draw of the game for me is its uniqueness, the gaming mechanic is genuinely different to everything else I’ve played and I’m expecting to see lame clones of “Train45” appear soon for this reason. I also really like the pixel art used in this game’s action scenes, which I think is definitely the right choice. All I can really criticise here is that because the game concept is so different, it took quite a while for me to really grasp what the fuck I was even supposed to do, even with the game walking me through it, so I recommend consulting some guides to help you with this one if you’re as easily confused as I am. I’d still definitely recommend it especially for the price as there’s quite a bit of gameplay here to get through.
Tsundere Milfin
People have often criticised Kpopalypse for making “commentary” on Christianity while ignoring Muslims, and this criticism has been especially sharp since the release of my Christian-themed novel Girls909, but I’d like to feel that kpopalypse.com is an equal opportunity space where all bullshit religions can feel equally offended catered for. To this end, I’d like to throw my Muslim readers a bone with a review for “Tsundere Milfin”, a match-three game where you play as a male office worker being sexually harassed by your female Muslim boss.
The ozempic sadly didn’t kick in for trainee Areesha before her subway trip to SM Entertainment headquarters to sign that seven year contract with the secret three year mandatory extension
“Tsundere Milfin” is a game with a really pleasing visual style, and I don’t just mean the style of main love interest Areesha, although she definitely is super cute and meets required standards, plus her sexually assertive nature is a nice change from a lot of the other games here. The interface and graphics are all very smooth and polished, and graphic design in general is top notch. The gameplay is the basic match-three stuff you can get anywhere else, which is all that a game like this really calls for, with a little bit of idle gaming thrown in. Also the game is at times absolutely hilarious and I’m not sure how someone deeply religious would handle all the office haram but I definitely liked it and I didn’t even think it was being all that disrespectful, I’m sure that Allah himself (blessings of ChuuVes be upon him) would prefer that devout Muslims buy this game than commit actual adultery. “Pork is bad” is even an achievement here, after all, so the devs know how to be respectful. Allah u akbar!
VISUAL NOVELS
Angel Wings
This episode’s visual novel selection for your entertainment is Angel Wings, a free “k-drama inspired” romantic visual novel. The story is basically that you wake up in a strange location and meet lots of attractive females who all seem to take an interest in you for whatever reason, and then you have relationships of a sort. I say “of a sort” as the game contains no sexual content, or really even any romantic content, and mainly just seems to consist of these characters being weirdly distant and having shallow conversations about their generic life goals and giving you dull existential lectures about life and love. If that sounds boring, it is.
Goddamn bitch, I’m an adult, I can take no for an answer, you don’t have to condescendingly sugarcoat your rejection like you’re doing me a fucking favour geez
The most fascinating thing about this game though is how incredibly ugly it is. The developers seem to have created their visual novel art by taking scans from k-pop promotional material, and then stitching k-pop idol A’s body onto k-pop idol B’s face and k-pop idol C’s hair, and then making slight modifications by hand for the different poses and facial expressions. I could be wrong, but that’s certainly exactly what it looks like. The result is some characters from very deep in the uncanny valley, especially for fans of second-generation k-pop girl groups such as Girls’ Generation, AOA, Secret, Sistar etc who will no doubt recognise a lot of the original source material they scanned and stole used for “inspiration”. The story therefore doesn’t work because the entire plot relies on the presumption that you somehow find these Frankensteined characters oh-so-fascinating and insightful and beautiful instead of ugly and boring as all hell. I think it might be assumed that you would recognise this source material and that might help you connect with the characters more, but it doesn’t work like that because the result looks so ugly and disconnected and everyone is a bland personality-less bore. Some people have told me that this game has a “k-drama feel” and that’s as good a reason to not ever watch k-drama as any that I can think of. If nothing else at least it’s free, and it arguably has some value as social commentary as it’s certainly an indictment against Korean hypercapitalism that someone would consider these bland characters and their life goals interesting enough to write a visual novel about.
That’s all for this post! Let’s hope Wonho is able to now enjoy some new games to help him through his post-enlistment comebacks! Kpopalypse will return!
