It’s time for QRIMOLE! Let’s take a look at questions for Kpopalypse!
Q1: Sometimes I get in a phase where I want to listen to fast and aggressive music, but it doesn’t “sound” fast anymore. I listen to things like “Hi High” or ATR “Start The Riot” which are like 200 BPM each, but I don’t really perceive it like this. I have some kind of mental illness that functions like social anxiety or mild depression at times that I see a therapist for, and I can be prone to phases of feeling sad/hopeless, so could some bugged-out brain chemistry explain why the rapid fire songs don’t sound fast? Maybe something about hearing things in half-time? Also if you feel up to it pls link the fastest song that comes to mind you enjoy so I can see if it helps thankssss
Q2: I had feelings abt 2 years ago for this guy I see around my school still, but I was rejected, as he is a man, I am gay man, but he is bi and only attracted on the male spectrum to femboys. Completely unrelated to my experience after meeting him but I’ve experimented with feminine costumewear before and I toyed the idea of presenting my feminine-costumed self to him in the interest of him finding me more appealing (I hadn’t/haven’t shown this interest of mine to anyone besides me). This was probably a bad idea to do right? The positive aspects of this included the tantalizing intersection of doing-whatever-the-fuck-I-want-for-once and my budding romantic interests, but he and I are both of minor age in my country and I feel like the choice to show him my costumewear in that context would ahve bordered on a sketchy sexual situation with a guy who might not even reciprocate.
Q3: How do Australians in your area fuck with Halloween, if at all?
Thank you for your service.
2. Yeah I think it’s a bad idea. Think about the people you like, and also those you don’t like. How long does it take for you to make up your mind about if you like someone or not? Do you know anyone at all who you don’t like now, who you think you possibly might like if they wore better clothes?
3. Generally we don’t. The supermarkets always try to make it a ‘thing’ here every year, and the goths enjoy getting to wear what they always wear and not getting harassed for it for once, but beyond this Halloween is a total non-event. Also nobody goes trick or treating here, not to random houses anyway, if you’ve got school friends maybe you might plan it with them in advance and doorknock their houses only and skip all the other ones in the neighbourhood but that’d be about the extent of it.
Do you buy fewer kpop albums now that you don’t need to play/give away for the radio show?
Vaguely related: have your album buying habits changed due to changes in availability since the site started?
I buy fewer k-pop albums since realising that they all sucked. Yes stopping the radio show has been an extra de-motivating factor in buying.
Also there are less k-pop shops where I live now. Not sure where they all went. I mean I would probably impulse-buy a Viviz album if it had a good photobook just for the pictures but that opportunity doesn’t really present itself with the lack of window-shopping opportunities where I live.
In honor of G Dragon, on a scale of 1-420, how drugged out would you say the average idol is (+is this how they don’t all have nervous breakdowns?)
Some do, some don’t. It’s about the same as depicted in my book series (and the first two books are only just getting warmed up).
hi mr kpopalypse, i just started my first year of uni and boy do i have questions.
1. right now i’m studying physics, but for a while (since july-ish) i’ve thought about switching to music. when i applied for uni, i didn’t know that music education was a program – i thought it was either performance or sound engineering-type programs. i believe that, had i known this was an option, i would’ve applied for music ed instead of physics. i didn’t think i had it in me to study performance, and sound engineering has never interested me (nor have the more history/cultural study-type paths). but i’ve talked to academic advisors about switching and my options are either a bmus (piano performance) or ba in music (more freedom, i’d probably choose to focus on music education). i’m at the point where i just have to make up my mind and they’ll go and schedule an audition for me. (important to note that after my bachelor’s, i’m doing teacher’s college, aiming for high school teaching)
i guess what i’m wondering is, am i making the right choice? i don’t know if i enjoy music just because it’s a change from all the science i’ve been doing. at the same time, studying physics the way i am right now doesn’t really excite me. i like learning about physics, not doing physics, and unfortunately a lot of uni physics is lab work (which i’m not fond of). but i also don’t know if i’ll enjoy doing only music. and one of my music profs mentioned that classical piano programs are not great for developing skills needed in teaching (i agree), in which case i’d be better off going the ba route. not that i have to decide at the moment – i’ll do the audition and choose which route i want. any thoughts in the meantime?
2. related to the first part – i’ve also been looking into transferring schools. right now i study at [Uni A] (well-known uni in [redacted], quite solid reputation all-around especially in stem). i’ve been considering switching to [Uni B] (probably the only uni [redacted] know, very good music program among others). uni rankings don’t mean much to me, but i wonder if it’s worth switching. [Uni A] music dept is probably the weakest in the school – not that it really matters to me as the people i’ve met have been amazing. but [Uni B] has an actual dedicated music for education program, unlike [Uni A], where the closest i’d get is a ba in music with lots of courses in music ed.
there’s also the factor of living [near Uni A] vs back [near Uni B] (i’m from the [near Uni B] area). i kind of appreciate not having my parents breathing down my neck, and it’s far enough that if they want to visit, i can just say “busy sorry love you” and they have to accept (6 hours drive would be wasted otherwise). add to that the ridiculous housing market [near Uni B] and the general cost of living. [near Uni A] is not miles cheaper but prices are definitely lower here. in fact i may have just convinced myself into staying here. but if you have thoughts anyway you can leave them and i’ll consider them
3. completely unrelated to both questions above – since coming here, i haven’t made any friends. not that i’ve been actively trying (skipped all the orientation events after two days). i mean, i have been doing stuff with other people (i’m one of the pianists for a musical). but my general philosophy for making friends is i’ll do my own stuff, and if people want to tag along, they will. and if i like someone’s company, i’ll hang around with them, but i usually don’t approach people first. i don’t do small talk unless they initiate. not to say that i don’t put in effort, just that i know pretty quick if i want to get to know someone, and if i don’t want to then i don’t initiate. but this has got me feeling a bit lonely + slightly depressed, although it’s gotten better since i started practicing for the show. should i change how i approach friendships?
4. related to #3 – i’ve never been in a romantic relationship. i’ve had a few crushes but never acted on them. i know the right person will come around and i’d never enter a relationship just for the sake of being in one, but i’m getting kinda tired of waiting. and i’m mostly happy with myself; at least, i like my personality and attractiveness is subjective (but i think i’m cute :P), but being single my whole life makes me feel so unloveable, like there’s something wrong with me, even though i know i’m fine the way i am. should i keep waiting or do i start actively looking?
many thanks for reading all of this. i haven’t been keeping up with kpopalypse lately apart from qrimoles, i just don’t care enough about new releases to read your thoughts. still appreciate your dedication to doing your thing and pissing people off!
1. Before you even consider doing any music degree, if you’re doing it for a career reason check very carefully what it actually qualifies you for, and also if there’s any actual demand for that thing in the job marketplace. “Music education” is probably the most employable niche of the lot, but that’s not saying very much. Not that I would know how useful a Physics degree is, maybe it’s similarly useless I don’t know, not my area, BUT a music degree is legit useless for most things and qualifies you for almost nothing. I know, I did one, but I already was running my own record label and touring in bands at that time and I didn’t do it to advance my career, I did it because I felt like it and I could. It’s certainly better than no degree, but from an employability point of view almost any other degree you can think of that you can get from any University (including a BA) is better.
2. A lot of upsides to Uni A. Yeah doing a music degree would be better at Uni B but what you don’t want is to do a music degreee AND be broke. I know, I’ve done it and the economic hardship is fucked, especially coupled with the fact that after your degree is done there is a very very slim chance you’ll see decent money from it.
3. I think your approach is the right one and I felt similar in Uni days. Yeah it can get a little lonely sometimes but it’s better than being surrounded by insincere douchebags.
4. You don’t have to go out of your way but certainly keeping the radar on is wise. Keep that confidence in yourself going and do what you can to make your environment hookup-friendly (i.e don’t stay home every single day of the year, give randomness at least a reasonable chance to do its job) and things will happen, usually when you’re not expecting them to.
Hi!! I feel a little silly sending this, but, well, I’m just here to bitch about my life and possibly ask for advice? Or anything at all, I don’t entirely know. I’m gonna clearly denote a start and end place to censor/exclude, so if you could just cut that out of the post (if this makes it into a QRIMOLE post) I’d appreciate it. Thanks!
[easily the longest question in QRIMOLE history redacted]
I know you eventually said don’t worry about it, but you made me read all 6k words of that so I’ll feel very unproductive and like I totally wasted my time if I don’t write you back at least something. Mind you I only needed to read the first 600 or so to get the general idea.
My god – take the offer from your friend and get the fuck out of there. Literally as soon as you can. Your parents are driving you insane, you know this, and you have an escape route right there. Yeah life won’t be perfect and certain things will be hard at first (probably money to start with) but it will improve exponentially in all sorts of ways once you are not living at home anymore. Even your relationship with your parents will improve (eventually) so don’t burn your bridges on purpose, or treat it like a big final decision, don’t overthink it just go. Go. Do it now. Why are you still reading this? You should be packing your bags already. Don’t write me another 6k words until you’re out of there.
Is it easier to become a kpop with big boob or small one
Re: vinyl discussion.
my friend, you’ve misunderstood. I collect vinyl records because they’re fun! I like the limited editions, the massive album art and credits, and the overall look and feel. I also love playing them and taking care of them. I collect kpop albums too (these are CDs ofc) but i dont play them as often because i find playing them less of an “experience” if you will…vs using a turntable, brushing the record, and flipping sides. It’s a more “present” listening experience for me so i enjoy it more. The funnest part is going to a record store and shuffling through the records, randomly stumbling upon some dead grandpa’s record that i end up surprisingly liking, or an album i completely forgot about. CDs sound better sure, but they just aren’t as fun of an experience. Records are a way funner hobby.
Anyway, because i actually listen vs others that collect them sealed, I’m also tinkering with the sound quality of them. I’ve found learning about the sound process fun as well, so that’s why i asked if you had a POV on equipment. I know that it’s not digital and it’s not realistic to recreate a digital experience with analog.
Yep I definitely get the whole ‘experience’ aspect of playing vinyl. It’s definitely a more tactile, hands-on kind of thing, for those who are into that. Personally I’m not into that, I’m a lazy fuck and I like to just click a button and hear music… hell, I shouldn’t even have to click the button, I should just be able to think the music I want and it should magically appear. Maybe Elon Musk can stop trying to find ways to turn Twitter into a WeChat-style dystopia and invent something like that instead, but then maybe not because he’d probably charge up the ass for it and it would also make 1 in 100 people’s heads randomly explode or something. If nothing else I can agree that vinyl art looks way cooler because it’s bigger, and black vinyl is sexy.
Going back to your question from last month, if you think it ‘sounds quiet’ then trade up your speaker system for something with a subwoofer (or add a subwoofer to your existing system if that’s possible, but it might be better to just sell the speakers you have and start afresh so you get something designed to be matching). It doesn’t have to be audiophile-grade stuff worth thousands and you’re not really aiming for perfect sound quality (as with vinyl you ain’t gonna get it anyway) so just go to a hi-fi store and take a look at some units, there’s lots of good options. But it’s probably that lack of very deep bass response that you’re missing from your current setup which is making you feel like the music isn’t hitting, the rest of it is probably fine. One turntable produces audio much like another, there’s almost no benefit to swapping that out, and the turntable already has a preamp built in so you don’t need one of those, because preamps all do essentially the same job too. Changing the speakers on the other hand will make a very big difference.
So my ult group “sadly” isn’t well known enough to make a huge splash in airport arrivals/departures, though with the influx of horrific situations perpetuated by “fans” at airports (and other venues as well, of course) I’m really glad for the most part they are usually met by a small yet respectful group of fans/fansites. And while I know that idols’ safety is NEVER foremost in a kpop company’s mind, you’d think they’d at least take steps to not “damage” their assets. Can we just get a clone of IU’s bodyguard? It’s only a matter of time before someone gets really hurt in the quest for… a picture of your favorite idol in a mask and a hat. Or some ‘roided out rent-a-cop punches a fan.
Anyway, my question, which may have been asked before and if so I’m sorry for being a redundant caonima: what music streaming service do you use, if any; if not, how do you usually consume music? Your own personal mp3s/flacs? What player would you recommend?
Shit that was a lot of questions. Thanks for being my favorite 30 year old twink, oppa.
I generally listen on YouTube, or if I feel like I must have it, I just go to the band’s website or social media and buy it however they happen to be selling it (CDs, Bandcamp, some other MP3 or similar file, whatever it happens to be).
Small groups of respectful fans at airports are the best kind and as an artist they can actually be fun to deal with. There’s definitely disadvantages about getting to the A-tier fame level where you get swamped.
how possible do you think this is? being able to rent out an idol for a few hours for 40k?
Very possible, very common. You wouldn’t believe.
Thoughts on “I Wanna Dance Somebody” being #1 and beating “Dancing Queen” in Billboard’s Top 500 Pop Songs list?
What a shit list. Where’s the Korean entries? Korean pop is still pop. Or in fact anything at all that isn’t western for that matter? No T-ara, no life.
I’m the girl who went to the Ayreon concert, I’d like you to know that Cammie from oceans of slumber was on their most recent album Transitus, which is actually one of there worst albums but it’s elevated because she’s on it.
Noted, thank you! You should do a tier list of Ayreon albums for readers.
How do you find and pick the music for the Black Music Features? Is it all just stuff you already knew and you pick the first thing you can think of that you haven’t written about? Is it stuff people are talking about on some kind of forums? Are you just idly googling around for “obscure black punk bands”?
There’s a few that were reader picks that I hadn’t heard of (and when they are, I mention this in the write-up) but the rest is just stuff I know about and pulled out of my ass. Believe it or not I just know a lot of black music through decades of being a musician, touring with other (often black) musicians and following wildly varying different stuff over the years. You know, unlike the bigoted TikTok kids who call me racist every day meanwhile the only black music they’ve even heard of is like two rock bands and everything else is stereotypical R&B/rap hybrids and gangster rap. I’m probably not going to accept any more reader recs for it because there’s only a few weeks of roundup left for 2023 and I’m going to run out of spots for some stuff I really want to cover.
Dear Mr. kpopalypse,
You often write (albeit from a somewhat crass and facetious perspective) about topics such as objectification and sexualisation, which are topics of major importance within feminist philosophy. You correctly identifying the many ways in which some of these feminist concepts are misused by kpop stans, yet I am led to wonder if you have ever engaged in any feminist literature before? As someone who wrote a bachelor’s philosophy dissertation in feminist ontology, reading actual feminist philosophy from the likes of DeBeauvoir, Dworkin, Butler, MacKinnon etc. is often very refreshing when you are used to drowning in dumbed down bastardised versions of philosophical feminist concepts that are popular in online discourse. If you have read any such works, I’d be interested to hear what you have read and what you think. If you have not, may I suggest, if you find yourself interested, The Second Sex by Simone DeBeauvoir as a starting point?
Yes. The books that got me interested in feminism primarily were Naomi Wolf’s “The Beauty Myth” and Susan Faludi’s “Backlash“. I have no idea where they sit in the realms of feminist academia (because unlike yourself I didn’t do a bachelors in this stuff and hang out with other students of it, I just read the books because I wanted to), but I felt like they sure got a lot of things right. I’d definitely recommend “The Beauty Myth” to anybody, it’s instantly relatable and very well-written, I would even say some of the ideas within it inform my own writing to an extent (which I think will make a lot of sense to anyone who has read it and is also paying close attention to some of the patterns in my own writing and site content). “Backlash” is great too but it’s very data-heavy which it has to be by its nature but this makes it a much harder read. I have precisely zero time for Dworkin and her ilk, she’s disgusting, she popularised the hyper-conservative-pretending-to-be-progressive feminism that is ultra-keen to forge alliances with fundamentalist Christian hate groups and which many of my female friends in the sex industry have been fighting against their whole lives. “The Second Sex” is actually on my reading list, I intend to get to it one day but I have little time to read at the moment between writing and trying to earn enough money to pay my house off before the economy here completely tanks, I’m still getting through that massive stack of black American history books that a reader sent me a few years back. Thanks for the recs though, and thanks for continuing to consume my content, given your reading list I’m sure that it stretches your tolerance at times, I do appreciate it.
YouTube recommended me the laziest idol content I’ve seen in a long time. It’s 6 minutes of Astro’s Sanha and Monsta X’s Hyungwon lying down on a mat and looking at their phones. That’s really all that happens in the clip. It looks like the positive comments were left by real people and not bots. Who actually enjoys this content? Wouldn’t even the most obsessed fan be bored to death watching this?
I don’t have any answers to this. It’s not quite as creepy as the video I once saw of some girl group all sleeping together in the same room, but it’s close.
You mentioned Big Bang has (had?) as one of the boy groups with the best hit/miss ratios during their “golden age”, but what time were you referring to and which songs? I know you liked Monster, but I was wondering if you meant their late 2000s stuff.
Specifically I was thinking about the “Still Alive” album which I think is really good overall, and other stuff from around then, I liked the first GD+TOP stuff when it came out etc.
Hi oppar, haven’t talked to you in a while since you stopped playing league. Anyways, cutting to the chase:
I am currently working in Aus and came from Indonesia. I’ve been here for 13 years. After my holiday back to indonesia on Aug 2023 (a month back home after 3 years, COVID I can’t fly back), I’ve never felt so homesick. It was depression level homesick, I didn’t wanna eat, didn’t want to go out and meet my friends, I just wanted to be home. Never felt so lonely in my life. I have a sister her but she’s an absolute bitch and I told her I don’t wanna meet her again. 2 months have gone by, and the depression still comes and goes, but the feeling of wanting to go back home is always there. I’d love to return back home, but there is one reason I shouldnt be, income.
Honestly, even in AUS standard, I don’t make that much (82,400 AUD anually), but I’m probably making more than 95% of Indonesia’s working population. I don’t have anything in indonesia, and unlike my fellow indonesian friends, am not lucky enough to inherit businesses from by parents. I am just really scared that if I go back, I basically have to throw myself in the asian slave labor environment with min wages and max hours. My current ‘plan’ is to save as much money as I can (approx 150K AUD) and try and go home and build something, but it’s such a scary thought since I don’t have any business experiences etc. And I don’t know if I can even call that a plan since it’s pathetic and just honestly bare bones.
I know you’re from AUS staying in AUS, but what would you advise? I feel like I’m honestly done with AUS, I’m only here for the money and everything else is crap. I’ve got parents back home that are aging too, and I wanna spend time as much time as I can with them before they’re gone yaknow. This really makes me sad all the time thinking about it.
You’re making a lot more than I am… wow I really picked the wrong industry. Fuck the music business, seriously! I hope you’re at least buying my books and subscribing to my Patreon, you owe me that for all those ARAM games we did where I was traumatised by toxic Yasuo mains.
Seriously though, with that amount of money, you don’t even need to be homesick, you can pretty much come and go between Australia and Indonesia whenever you want. You could also maybe even investigate starting a business in Indonesia (where the cost of doing that would be much lower than here) and paying the bills from Australia at the same time. Seriously, with that amount of money under your belt, you have a secure financial base from which to work from so a ton of options at your disposal. I know people who spend their time half in Australia and half in SEA countries for work reasons and they also make way more money than I do (omg I’m so poor ouch) and they don’t get homesick because when they want to see the family they just hop on a plane and do it and keep working. I reckon just keep saving and do some research into the business environment in Indonesia and what would work over there. If that’s where you know you want to be then there’s no reason not to go, but there’s also every reason to give yourself every possible advantage in the meantime. Also consider – how much of your current job can be done remotely, and if your current boss wouldn’t consider that, maybe a competitor would? Just a thought.
I’m in my early 20s and I’m extremely bitter and angry. My country has been sliding further down the sewer since covid and the Russian war, but it also seems like ordinary people are becoming worse. Imagine every negative of your country magnified times 100, then imagine your country is in Eastern Europe. I have a lot of pent-up anger I can’t act on due to being female, non-threatening, physically weak and timid. I deal with it by fantasizing about beating the fuck out of the horrible people I see on the news or irl. For example, today I saw some careless, probably drunk fuckhead nearly ram his car into two girls on the sidewalk (First or second highest road death rate in the EU, baby!) and I was completely frozen while vividly imagining myself breaking every bone in that mf’s hands so that he won’t be driving for a very long time. But this sort of coping mechanism is self-destructive and I don’t want to end up with a mental breakdown and alienate friends and family. Idk what to do, I’m already in therapy but I think my therapist doesn’t get it. Do you have any ideas for me
I swear to god that I didn’t ‘plant’ this very Hana-like question into QRIMOLE just to promote my book, honest. Anyway you need some kind of outlet for all that anger. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it works. Martial arts might be good, don’t let your lack of physical strength put you off, a good coach will coach you through that. Or if not that something else with a physical component that allows you to channel aggression and energy safely. There’s a lot of options. Gym, breaking things with hammers, heavy metal music, dare I say even various sportballs. But definitely something that makes you feel powerful and feel like you can channel your power into something.
hello my question is about toplining! you’ve mentioned in a few of your roundups about how top liners may get a decent beat but have no idea on how to come up with a decent melody to go along with it. do you have any tips on how to top line or is that something comes with practice?
Learn music theory! Not that important for most aspects of the music world but I’d say to be a good topline writer and not just write semi-improvised rubbish, a music theory background will help immeasurably. The reason why it’s so important is that if you’re working with someone else’s backing track, understanding innately the tonal systems that the backing track was constructed with will help you fit the right kind of melody over the top without having to do a bunch of guesswork. This is why a lot of track writers struggle with topline work, a lot of them are more into the techy side and not so much the theory side. This post talks directly about the very basics of toplining. And yes practice will help!
does this random disney channel song absolutely shred or what
Wow it’s T-ara’s “I Go Crazy Because Of Halloween“.
Oppar, what do you think the philosophy of Conservatism/Puritanism/Prudism/Batshit Insane Religious Freakism/Or Whatever The Fuck Ism You Wanna Call It actually got right when it comes to sex and sexuality (if any)?
A lot of those religions really started as social control mechanisms. If you’re running a society and you don’t have the dollars for a police force, it’s a lot easier to get the population to do what you want them to do if they think they’re going to get punished by a mystical unknown force one day if they disobey you. Whether any of these religions are true or not, and whether you or I believe in them or not, doesn’t matter, it’s besides the point – the purpose of every religion, whether true or false, is social control, and always has been. So hence all the stuff about sex and sexuality being codified into every religion. You can’t just have the entire population fuck all the time whenever they want, because then you get diseases spreading, unwanted babies everywhere, nobody gets any work done because they’re too busy fucking etc etc. So you regulate it by having tons of arbitrary stupid rules about when you can and can’t fuck, who you can fuck, how much skin you can show and where, etc etc. Of course it doesn’t work that well in practice and just makes people even hornier because we’re all animals that are built for fucking, but there’s something to be said for not getting every STD on earth at once and there’s also something to be said for actually looking after your offspring should you choose to have them. For any other advice on family planning I’d sooner recommend The Satanic Bible.
My cat looks exactly like you i odn’t know how that’s possible but it is!
Photos or it didn’t happen
What’s the k-pop song that you changed your opinion of most over time? (What about non k-pop?)
For increasing quality, Jvcki Wai’s songs always annoy me when I first hear them but they are all huge growers. For decreasing, I used to Like Sistar’s “Loving U” but after hearing Sistar do exactly the same thing for the next 87 more summers but worse and worse each time, the appeal of that track has lessened.
I hated Nick Cave, Public Enemy, The Beastie Boys when I first heard them, now have several of their albums. Going the other way, I used to love Led Zeppelin as a teenager but find it boring these days.
Once, on the ask.fm days, you recommended an australian comedy movie that caught my interest, I managed to find it to watch, but my PC broke and I ended up forgeting about it. Out of the blue I remembered about the movie, but I can’t recall the name, if my memory serves me well it was kind of a mockumentary or fake reality show.
The only thing I remember vividly is a scene from the trailer which is a person waiting in a car outside a house, then s/he calls someone who’s inside saying that there’s a bomb in the house and when the person ran out of the house, the caller started shooting and screaming. I hope you remember it.
Sorry for the boring question.
Series 7: The Contenders. Highly recommended!
It’s probably nearly impossible to find at retail but I think the whole thing is up on YouTube if you search. Note that it’s actually an independent American film. (Understandable confusion – a lot of independent American films look like Australian films because the budgets for home-grown Australian film are super-low compared to overseas.)
should I ditch my yoga teacher?
I’ll call her Anna. I’m 21, and she is probably around 40.
After a free trial week, I stopped going because it was waaay too fucking expensive, like $200 a month.
2 weeks later I get a call from Anna, and she’s wondering why I haven’t come in. I tell her I don’t have the money, and she gives me their unlimited package for a year for free.
As soon as I arrive in the studio again she’s all excited, like “you’ve shown up!” and etc.
she says some spiritual woo-woo about my energy being amazing. the only thing I remember feeling was nervousness. right away I got the sense that she was either kinda overly spiritual or a bit pretentious. Whatever. I could deal with a quirk.
…And then she starts complimenting me a lot, which is sometimes just normal (“i like your perfume”) and other times exaggerative (ie “you have a level of insight no one else here does!”). I wondered if she was putting me on a pedestal or kind of idealizing me. She seemed to pay me a bit more attention than her other clients.
Then, I’m talking to her after class about my uni or something and she starts telling me something crazy. Apparently she has a kid with special needs that has meltdowns where he hits whoever he can. She tells me she’s usually the target since she’s home more often.
Since he’s a teenager and larger than her, she ends up bruised. I didn’t say anything, but it definitely made me sad and uncomfortable.
It keeps escalating.
I send her a text message telling her I couldn’t go to a meditation she had scheduled. She’s like “Oh don’t worry! I had to cancel this class because of my son — I’m learning grappling techniques to pin him down safely.”
I obviously don’t respond.
A couple weeks later I go to class and afterwards as we’re walking to our cars she starts telling me about a teenager she does private yoga lessons with. Anna tells me “oh since you want to be a therapist, how would you deal with this situation?” and goes into a lot of detail about everything wrong with this poor girl, including that she got dateraped and is addicted to drugs.
I’m feeling weird about the whole interaction, and decided to tell her the next time I see her that she needs to not share this kind of info with me. I decide that if she can’t respect that then I’ll just stop coming to the studio.
The next time I see her I give her some nonsense about me being spiritually vulnerable after class so I can’t handle this.
To my surprise she says “okay, I won’t do it again,” and she hasn’t, which is a good sign.
She also tells me that her mission in life is to “love people”, and that she is used to being treated in all sorts of ways by her friends and still loving them anyways.
Apparently her natural inclination is to love people. She always had a bit of a cult leader vibe but now I guess I understand why.
At some point she’s going to burn out from “loving people”. Like she seems to portray herself and act as if she isn’t a human being… but it’s obvious that her clients’ issues and her son are weighing down on her and she ended up dumping this on me. I don’t think she has a therapist, she just does yoga.
I think she’s traumatized because of the issues with her son, and she saw me as someone who could help her work through her problems. I still don’t understand how she thought that was appropriate considering her age.
After I put my foot down, she hasn’t done anything retaliatory or mean afterwards. She does seem slightly more distant, but I think that’s probably for the best.
I sprained my neck in class and she seemed just as concerned/caring as before.
She told me that she was taking leave in November to December to go back to her home country for a wedding, and now I am wondering if I should take that chance to never return. I still go because it’s free honestly, and because she seems to care about my growth despite her actions. I’m also anxious about her calling and asking where I am after she returns…
She’s an objectively good yoga teacher. All 5 star reviews on Google/Yelp, goes out of her way to help her clients. And she is charismatic…I can tell that it’s not a good situation, but I feel like I need extra motivation to get out. Or maybe things are fine…idk
Up to you and what you feel comfortable with. You’re under no obligation to do anything really. I doubt she means badly, she’s probably just someone who is a bit lonely and needy, people like that tend to overshare which isn’t a crime. The question is more, can you handle it, and do you want to. If it were me I would instantly quit the class and block her number but then I’m far more antisocial than most, your mileage may vary. I don’t think there’s any red flags here (she backed off when you told her to and is keeping a little professional distance now, no doubt out of respect for your wishes, props to her for that) so as long as you’re comfortable with it you might as well see out the year. That’s down to you though and where your personal tolerance level lies.
How/when did you get into recreational programming (like the games)? I’ve noticed that you go for a lot of different kinds of “creative outlet”…are there more that we don’t know about?
I taught myself programming on the Commodore 64 when growing up, using the built-in BASIC programming language, and I also created a couple text adventure games back then using an engine called Quill. (Don’t ask me anything about the games now though, lost in time, I don’t have the files or even remember what they were about.) I did this stuff mainly because I was bored and wanted to procrastinate instead of do homework but couldn’t afford games for my computer (and pirated games weren’t always easy to get either). That got me used to programming principles in general and a lot of that same stuff applies to the RPG Maker engine that’s used for the Yves games, as well as Twine which is used for the branching path text games, and also stuff like Python which feels to me kind of like a super-charged modular version of BASIC. Once you learn one programming language others become easier because they all seem to have the same kinds of ideas and principles, just different syntax and interfaces.
Yes I do have other creative pursuits but I need to keep something secret so all the crazies who want to doxx me actually have something to find. I hope they’re happy with themselves when they finally discover that I was 1996’s Adelaide northern suburbs sock-matching champion.
i like your fanfic’s, my favorite is about Hyuna’s clones. may i adapt it into a webcomic, game/visual novel just for fun?
Yes! Just credit me and all is good. Don’t forget to tell me when it’s out so I can tell readers.
What’s your take on Broadway/theater/musical songs? I personally find them super annoying because they (particularly the popular ones) get all high note-y and too much-prolonged notes that do not sound good for the listener. Even studio recording versions of said songs come out so polished and “perfect” that it doesn’t come as enjoyable or fun. I know its their job to sound all perfect but I don’t know, what’s your take on them?
I dislike them for much the same reasons. The closest I can find to something I like is Repo: The Genetic Opera, which I do recommend, but even then the overly-enunciated vocal (which is necessary because the narrative of the story is entirely carried within the songs) kind of takes away from the “musicality” of it for me, it sounds so much like a cross between vocal warm-ups and being read a storybook in a dramatic voice, like the song is there to serve the story instead of the other way around. Given the format, this makes sense – I understand why it is that way, it’s just not how I prefer to listen to music.
You never really talk about lyrics, which, fair enough given your audience and how you choose to listen. Still: are there kpop songs where you actually enjoy/get something from the lyrics? Have they ever changed your mind about a song?
This is kind of a related question in a way. Lyrics definitely do make a difference to the listening experience, but it’s generally not a deal breaker if lyrics are bad, or a deal-sealer if they’re good. I can tolerate awful lyrics if they’re paired with good music. T-ara had almost universally cringe lyrics across the board, paired with some of the greatest music ever:
It’s just so insincere, it screams “written by a group of 40 year olds in a boardroom with flowcharts”. The “independent Roly Poly” aka Girls2000’s “Bad Girlfriend” has lyrics that are just drop-dead fantastic because they’re obviously grounded in something a bit more relatable, the translation here’s isn’t great but it’s good enough to get the gist:
For genuinely good lyrics I think you largely won’t find much of them in Korean idol pop, you need to go to independent music for that. “Spacedog” is great musically anyway but the lyrics definitely add another dimension of sorrow once you know what they’re about (google is your friend but animal lovers don’t say you weren’t warned, once you know this knowledge it will upset you and you can’t un-know it).
English usage isn’t really much of a factor either as long as the meaning is clear. It’s obvious that Seoul Magic Club were struggling with English usage in “Que Sera Sera” but the result is lyrically beautiful anyway, because it’s still fairly obvious what’s being said and that spirit definitely translates to the final product.
Of course you don’t need to be on the right side of morality to write good rap lyrics. Black Nut flaunts his notorious assholism and simultaneously makes an average track much more interesting, just by knowing how to be an arresting lyricist. His verses here are at 0:55-1:21 and 2:03-2:30, while the verses with the other guy are fairly skippable but by having both the rappers on this one track, the song is a great example of how lyrical skill can transform the quality of a rap track.
Lastly, comedy can definitely add something cool to a track if it’s done well. That’s why all those Anal Cunt songs were great, Seth Putnam may have been a cunt, but he was a funny cunt. It also works in a more light hearted context, like this song, which wouldn’t be anywhere near as much fun if it was just a generic love song or something:
How has novel writing affected your relationship to writing for the site? Is it helping you avoid burnout by changing things up/adding structure? Or does it make it feel like the overall amount of writing is getting to be a lot? Do you often find yourself wishing you were writing one or the other?
I find it’s actually helped because it’s something related, yet very different. Writing novels has allowed me to do a whole lot of writing that I wish I could do for the site, but have been prevented from doing because of various ‘reasons’. Ideas and concepts that would normally just sit in drafts for years to rot and never be used for ‘reasons’ (often connected to ‘external forces’) now get to go into the novels instead, which is very useful. But the website is still essential and will remain that way. If I started off purely as a novel writer and didn’t have a website like this to review songs and talk about music and issues and other stuff in a non-fictional way, I would actually need to create one.
Hello! I hope you, Jennifer, and Stiglitz are all doing well.
I haven’t done the greatest job of staying emotionally healthy this past month. In my immediate personal circle things are going well, I have a lot to be grateful for, but I’m Jewish, and the news related to Israel right now is basically awful. I’m not anywhere near Israel (and have never been) so I’m not in any personal danger or even having slogans yelled in my face. But when I read news I start immediately getting frightened and defensive. I started trying to discipline myself to avoid all news and commentary, but that doesn’t entirely do the job. For example, the manager of my favorite group (not Korean) recently started posting anti-Semitic pro-Palestine memes. (“Not all pro-Palestine memes are anti-Semitic!” True, but there’s a difference between posting “Free Palestine” or links to a charity that works in Gaza, and posting a cartoon that prominently features a star of David combined with a Nazi swastika.) So now I’m like, whelp, maybe stop looking for fun group content on Instagram until this blows over. Anyway, I am writing this partly in hopes of hearing someone I respect say, “This whole thing sucks” (which would be several orders of magnitude better than “Israel sucks”) and partly to ask how you would modify your advice about being the recipient of targeted online hate when it’s more like So Your Particular Ethnic Group Is Yet Again Being Regarded as The Absolute Worst by Other Ethnic Groups and Political Factions. Thank you!
Be aware that you may feel a feeling of judgement because you’re Jewish, which isn’t your fault, but people in the Arab world or with close ties to it are probably also feeling this and more, and this isn’t their fault either. It’s a highly emotional situation for many, and so it tends to create very emotionally-charged discourse as people vie for attention for their cause. Is combining the Star of David with the swastika really an anti-semitic commentary? Or are they just making the point that they feel Israel’s government is behaving in a genocidal Nazi-type of way regarding Palestine? Without having seen the piece in question, or talking to those who made it, I can’t say for sure, but be aware that many people who are upset about Israel’s actions may not have anything against Jewish people specifically. I’m far from an expert on that whole situation, but I do know that quite a lot of jews don’t like how Israel is behaving, and a lot of Palestinians don’t support Hamas either. It’s saddening how so many people are going to pay a hefty price for the actions of a few, just because of geopolitical bullshit.
How to deal with hate in general – if that’s indeed what it is? I upset people every day. I have people literally every single day, complete strangers who I’ve never met, saying the most disgusting things to me (or more often, to their friends, about me), calling me a racist and a pedophile, with zero evidence, just because they don’t happen to like my opinion of a song or how I express myself on my own personal, free-for-all, advertiser-free website that they are under no obligation to ever visit. I feel like if the Middle East conflicts can teach any of us one thing, it’s that fighting fire with more fire tends to just lead to even more fire. When I choose to engage with my haters (which is rare, because there’s so many of them that I just don’t have time to talk to them all one by one) I very rarely bring to them the same level of hostility that they bring to me. The few times I’ve tried, I find I’m outmatched – I’m not the angry person people who misread my writing’s tone always imagine me to be, they’re always ten times angrier! It’s always far more effective for me to just talk to them reasonably, which I will do if they’re willing to do so and actually talking in good faith (as opposed to just trying to generate a ‘gotcha’ moment). So I would suggest adopt the same approach where possible, not to try and ‘win the argument’, just to understand.
Now that I’ve got your attention, oppa..
I forgot to mention that the verses and outro of “2 Different Tears” are rip-offs of Wham’s “Bad Boys.”
Speaking of Top of the Pops… a few questions.. my lub
What happened to music chart ranking shows like Top of the Pops or Countdown in the West? It seems they’ve been replaced with big concerts like Lalapalooza or Coachella now, and Korea and Japan are keeping them alive.
Who had the best Top of the Pops ending fairy, and why was it Courtney Love?
In honor of Halloween, can we get a bass cover of the King of Halloween Michael Jackson’s “Speed Demon”?
For your… *biggest* fan?
And finally, speaking of Halloween and Top of the Pops, favorite Halloween-themed dance pop track?
1. They died in the 90s when “credibility” become important in western music and miming on TV wasn’t seen as cool with the kids anymore. Korea and Japan never had such hangups to the same extent.
2. Not as good as the time Courtney’s band played at an outdoors festival in my town and she left the stage early because she was bitten by a bug. I guess that was the real “ending fairy” that flew up and munched on her arm. Sadly I can’t find footage of this iconic incident but everyone in my town who saw her remembers it.
3. I’ll add to the list for when my shoulder gets better.
4. The original and best
a simple, light hearted set of questions to balance the depressive stuff that normally comes into qrimole:
I plan to get a cat.
The internet tells me that certain cat breeds have different traits, like being able to be left alone, grooming needs, getting along with other pets, intelligence, weird genetic issues caused by breeding…
I’m realizing that I will likely be very busy and won’t have time to groom my cat often. She also would need to be okay by itself for a good chunk of the day because I work. I also want a smart cat, because it seems cooler, but everything I’ve seen shows the smarter the cat, the more games and attention they want.
Obviously I plan to adopt, but should I try to find a cat that has the traits I like or just not stress so much and nab a cat?
Also what sort of cat is Stieglitz? What routine do you have to take care of her? I fear that since i have depression I could end up having a bad episode and get burnt out.
I left the best question til last.
I picked up Stiglitz from an animal shelter. She followed my girlfriend around a lot while we were there and they bonded straight away so it was an easy decision. That’s how I’d recommend getting a cat. Don’t worry about breeds and cat breeders, there’s plenty of cats over at shelters looking for a home, and those cat are not only in just as much need but also much (MUCH) cheaper. You’ll probably just end up with a “domestic shorthair” or “domestic longhair” which is their way of saying they don’t know what breed it is, if any. We think Stiglitz might be a Norwegian Forest Cat cross just due to her sheer size and hair length, but believe it or not this fluffy chonker was labelled as “domestic shorthair” when we picked her up, that’s because when they’re really young their hair hasn’t had time to grow out yet so the shelters often don’t even know what they’ve got, so they just guess…
If you don’t have a lot of time to devote to cats, it’s best to get two cats as they will play with each other a lot. This is what I did at first as I was away on tour a lot. But if you do this, get them as kittens. Cats that grow up together get along fine most of the time, but two adult cats usually do not get along that well in close quarters, as cats are solitary creatures by nature once they reach adulthood (1 year). Adult cats actually bond better with humans than with other cats. After I met my girlfriend and we started living together, when my original cats passed away we went to just one cat, as one cat will seek more human attention and my girlfriend loves giving our cat lots of attention, so they keep each other busy. No cat requires anywhere near the amount of attention that a dog does however, as cats will do their own exercise and even the most smoochy cats aren’t all that needy most of the time.
Cats don’t require a whole lot of looking after, basically what you need to do is make sure it always has food and water, keep the litter trays clean, give them somewhere to use their claws like a good quality cat tree or scratching post, and also get a grooming brush so you can brush their hair every once in a while to get any knots out, maybe also some clippers if you need to tidy up after an ‘accident’ but that’s pretty rare as cats are quite clean creatures by nature. Note outdoor cats require less attention than indoor, but outdoor also brings with it a lot more risks and potential health issues. Domestic cats aren’t really meant to be in the wild, and an indoor cat isn’t as huge a time sink as you might think as honestly cats spend two thirds of their life sleeping and licking themselves. If you want low maintenance playtime cheap laser pointers are amazing.
That’s all for this episode of QRIMOLE! This series will return next month! In the meantime remember to feel like a shark chiki chika chu
Oh, and do you have a question that you’d like to see answered in the next episode of QRIMOLE? If so, use the question box below, or if no box appears, click the Qri on the sidebar to open the box as a separate webpage! Kpopalypse will return!