It’s time for QRIMOLE, the series where readers ask Kpopalypse questions! Let’s take a look at the mailbag for the last month!
Why do “singers” yap so much at kpop concerts?
Because k-pop thrives on building the parasocial connection between the performer and the fan, and long talk breaks really help with that. Also, they can’t sing, so a long talk break gives them a chance to do something they’re better at.
U always talk abt how none of the idols can sing or have stage presence. What according to u is stage presence?? And could u give examples of singers who do have it? And examples of idols who can actually sing
Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden, who is honestly a master class in stage presence for rock musicians, talks about it briefly at the start of this video.
I’ll tackle this topic in depth more at some point.
I don’t want to give examples of idols who can sing because it will get clipped out of context and I don’t want to encourage the usual lame jostling for position that idol fans do. Let’s not play into the cult. Everyone will just miss the point.
Have you seen the picture of Boram at the girls’ wedding last year? It looks like what happened between her and the remaining members has already been mended, not Soyeon tho (I guess she’s the Rachel Kim of the group). Now that Boram is closer to her 40s, is her face closer to how your mother looked when you were a child?
Actually Boram looked more like my mother when she was younger. The Kpopalypse family ages well!
Oppar, can you do a chord chart for f(x) – 4 Walls? There’re so many chord extensions from what I hear – I know it’s some variation of C6-Bm7-B7-E4 that repeats, but the voicings I’ve tried on guitar don’t match. Thanks!
Since you’re a guitarist I’ll do a loose tab of how I would arrange this for solo guitar and this may not be 100% (because Rhodes is Rhodes) but this is what I’m hearing and how I’d do it:
Chorus is essentially this, in whatever method you think works. The important part is the open B string on every single chord. You can change the voicings however you want but if you don’t keep that B in there somehow in every chord as either an open string or 4th fret G string, it will sound fishy. I’d voice it in this kind of way to deliberately make it sound as non-jazzy as possible. It does feel substantially different, it will sound better if you’re playing with others, or along to a backing.
Verse is the same thing, but alternating between the above, and this:
That’s basically it. There’s some sections where the timings change, and different chords get allocated different bar lengths but it’s all more or less this. Don’t ask me what the Rhodes is doing in the intro though, might be a variation of the above but unsure, block Rhodes chords out of context of a bassline are so hard for me to hear. I blame standing next to drum cymbals for a large chunk of my life.
Oh and the “horse girl” breakdown from 2:17, I’d forget what I said earlier and go full jazz and voice like this:
Going up high on the guitar here to try and get that Rhodes feel plus some contrast. The pedal B note no longer important here. You could voice these chords differently if you wanted. Have fun!
Fairly bad look for her?
Let’s keep these type of questions out of QRIMOLE because I answer about 50 questions exactly like this every week on my ask thingy and another 50 every livestream. If you’re not sick of them yet, too bad because I am. I replaced your link with something more wholesome. There were a few questions along these lines in QRIMOLE this month and I deleted most of them.
hey, kpopalypse! happy new year! i hope you’re doing well
i’m sending this because i’m honestly a little embarrassed this is happening to me. i’m a grown woman (in my late 20s) and i pretty much avoided the whole parasocial relationship with kpop idols while i was a teen/young adult – but i haven’t managed to do so with my favorite non-kpop band and i have no idea how to handle it lol.
i’ve been a fan for nearly three years now, i’ve been to a lot of gigs, i’ve talked to them plenty, we’ve hung out before, and i spend most of my free time engaging with their content. the thing is, i can recognize they’re not my friends, despite how many interactions we’ve had and how friendly they are when we meet each other but it’s very hard to actually deal with all of it. whenever i try to distance myself, i find myself coming back for more. i like when they notice me. i feel disappointed whenever i don’t get a chance to see them. i feel weirdly defensive over them. i also feel very pathetic over all of this because i know better. i’m aware i’m super parasocial but i also can’t stop myself.
i guess i’m just wondering what to do. should i just completely remove myself from it all? do i keep trying to navigate this being aware this isn’t healthy? is it even parasocial if i’m aware i care about them too much and i don’t want to push any boundaries or make them uncomfortable?
i also have a second question and this one is kpop related. how do you feel about the newjeans situation and danielle being kicked out of the group? similarly, what’s your opinion on cbx (chen, baekhyun, xiumin from exo) and their lawsuit? i’m always in support of workers and the kpop industry is very evil and exploitative, but in both cases i can’t help but think they had awful legal advice and support, which makes their cases very hard to win. i feel like even if you have a good case against a billion dollar company, it’s a struggle to actually advocate for yourself and change the industry. jyj sued sm all those years ago and i feel like we barely had any meaningful changes since then.
this got very long, sorry! thank you for listening (reading).
If you’re actually hanging out with them and getting to know them, is it really a parasocial realtionship anymore, or just a social relationship? Relationships aren’t automatically “parasocial” just because someone’s in a band. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re the bestest besties ever either, there are degrees of friendship of course, but what to me defines “parasocial” is that the “social” aspect doesn’t actually exist in real-world terms, it’s all a mediated experience. Whereas in your case here, the social aspect kinda does, at least to some extent even if it might be limited. There’s a word for this: “acquaintances”.
Kpopalypse.com always advocates for the rights of artists and that’s one of the big reasons why I write the things I do, it’s why I do interviews, do books, etc. I am always on the side of the artist in any artist/label dispute, and that’s not to say that I’m against the label or against them making money or that I don’t see the business realities or where the labels do sometimes act appropriately (I see this a lot better than most self-appointed k-pop social media experts do because unlike them I’ve both known people who have been courted by labels and tried to run my own label in the past and I know what’s involved and how hard it is on both sides of the fence) but for me the needs of the artist always take priority, because without an artist there is no art. The only exception for me would be someone who has committed heinous crimes that are not forgivable, like Taeil would be an example of that.
your thoughts on her strategy for dealing with adult bully girls?
Valid. Note that this only works between girls though, sorting things out this way is very much a female privilege. If you’re a guy trying this with other guys it’s likely to escalate into violence. Which doesn’t mean “don’t do it”, it just means “be ready for the possibility”.
hey, since this is happening in your backyard, could you plz give some personal anecdotes/insight? Thx.
I don’t follow the machinations of big corporations, nor do I follow sporting events. So I have nothing to add here. But everyone go and follow this YouTube channel because it’s quite good and they generally get things right, and that way you won’t have to ask me about their videos ever again.
did you know about this? what’s your opinion of this trivia?
Makes sense. Never had this happen with shoes but when I didn’t ride my bicycle for a few months and then started riding again both tyres instantly exploded.
Isn’t it like being pushed out of the way of a runaway train though, {link of Ejae’s story of being dumped by SM Entertainment} cuz being an idol + still being a SM slave suck mega ass?
I mean they literally changed the laws cuz SM slave contracts were so long.
Well yes of course she’s better off now. It’s no picnic being part of a big agency, you can see all your faves struggle with it. Some people more suited to it than others though, there are people who make it work well for them. BUt you never know what will happen. Most SM dropouts don’t go on to mega-successful movie soundtrack hits – but some do.
i was going to ask why i can’t access your site on mobile, but i’ve now determined that i can only view posts that don’t have so many video embeds (like roundup). so i guess now my question is why can’t i view posts that have video embeds on mobile idk if you’ll be able to help but any suggestions would be appreciated !
Turn video autoplay off in your phone’s browser settings. That will solve 99% of all the problems you have visiting my site. And many other sites too – fuck knows how people even tolerate video autoplay, the very first thing I switch off on every browser and site ever. Noisy bandwidth-sucking bullshit. I visit my own site often on my 8 year old phone that loads everything slow as shit and it works fine, yes I gotta wait 20 seconds for it to load, but then I gotta wait 20 seconds for everything to load.
IDK if you notice these sort of things, but cinematography in American productions seems to be pretty shit these days. I was watching the season 2 finale episode of “Land Man” and the outdoor sequences were so drained of colour that everyone looked like martians with cancer (purplish skin)! That and/or outdoor shots can be very dark. The epic finale against the White Walkers at night in Game of Thrones Season 8 comes to mind. You can’t see anything!
Why you do think the American industry has shifted towards this? Now I’ve got myself thinking of Ridley Scott films like Blade Runner and Black Hawk Down where the use of colour and camera shots were so careful and deliberate. The Technicolour films of the 1940s-1960s where colours were so vibrant and varied.
I don’t watch enough TV to notice things like this. No time! Especially with the amount of QRIMOLE questions this month! Also I’m colourblind so that may have something to do with it also. So yeah I am not qualified to comment so I’ll just leave this question alone.
RE: the interview clip. {about how movies are deliberately made for dumber audiences now because people are more distracted while watching}
I get where they’re coming from but isn’t just where the market is now? Nobody really goes to the cinema except for “big event” movies. Netflix are just making their programming to suit how their subscribers consume their programming.
Now that I think about it, Hollywood has probably always treated their audiences like drooling retards. Eg the movie The Sixth Sense explicitly spelling out at the end the circumstances of Bruce Willis’ character. So much of the same really.
If you were these actor/filmmaker guys and netflix was the only one willing to fund your movie, would you go along with their mandates?
Again I don’t watch TV. I only see Netflix when my girlfriend watches it while I’m doing something else completely in the same room, or when I have to review something for this site. That’s literally it. I’m literally the worst person to ask this kind of question to. Also haven’t been to the cinema in quite a while. But I suppose as an actior why would I even give a fuck anyway I’m just there to act. As a director I might care a little more, depends how much they pay me I guess.
Given that basically every boy group is going to be ripping this sound and specifically this song off for the next six to eight months what would you tell them to make their songs less painful and potentially even good based solely on this song’s strengths and weaknesses (and you can’t say ‘get an actual beat’)
It’s my site, I can say what I want! Get a fucking actual beat! How hard is it? This is like saying “here’s a car with no wheels, please suggest one really obvious reason why it won’t drive and you can’t say wheels”. But if we must ignore the fucking obvious, maybe taking the balls out of his mouth before recording the vocal could have been another improvement point.
re: the question about the song most boy groups are going to start ripping off and what they can do to not suck about it – this is the more accurate influence that many in the industry have actively admitted is the main song they’re trying to recreate you can change the song and your answer if you want
Sounds like exactly the same bullshit to me. Certainly has the same problems.
In both songs some of the synth work is actually pretty good, but everything else is trash and I mean total trash and I meant total absolute sickening crap, and I mean everything that’s turned hip-hop from a once-great groundbreaking genre into a paltry, pathetic, soulless, hollow shadow of its former self.
Hello oppar!!! What is your favourite song of all time from any genre?
Not many people know this but Blackpink did a tribute to Yongma Land, Korea’s well-known amusement park where several k-pop groups including such luminaries as Crayon Pop shot their music videos. You should listen to it.
your thoughts on video essayist’s theories?
This is a long-ass video to essentially just say “this commercial pop song with the word ‘cyberlove’ in the title is actually a commercial pop song about cyberlove”.
do you have an explanation for this? {something about an ICE shooting, not sure how this is related to the question?} this is really strange. if all of these ppl don’t like elon, then why are they using his platform? not only that but the ones with blue checks ARE PAYING him a month subscription!
Are you sure that this is the right link? But I don’t know. I guess you’d have to ask them. I’ve never paid a cent to Twitter and I deactivated my much-loved Chuu-bot when Elon insisted that I had to “pay to play”. Twitter is absolutely not worth paying for given how much engagement on the platform is fake, you’re paying for all that “reach” but it’s just to talk to bot farms and troll farm employees farming the algorithm. And I mean a LOT of it is fake, including a ton of stuff that I see a lot of my readers post, share and comment on. Here’s a video about how all that works and I’ll make it related to the ICE shooting too just to keep things thematically in sync:
Oppar, do you think it’s even possible to have serious discussions online without going full dogmatic left/right and offending someone anymore? You said xitter is full of rage-baiting trolls, but in my experience it’s actual real people, and when you try being reasonable with them it’s like a red flag to a bull. And grifters everywhere.
Also, what are your thoughts on the latest Paradise Lost LP? I personally rate it among the top five (Draconian Times, Host, FDUDUU, The Plague Within, Ascension in no particular order).
It’s real people…. who are often either gaming the algo, or being sucked in by others who are gaming the algo and are the victims of the rage-baiting (often the case with k-pop fans, which is why they’re so angry). Watch the video above, it will really help.
I stopped listening to Paradise Lost after their second album “Gothic”. No time to check out their new albums, especially when I’ve got people relentless campaigning me for their k-pop faves. I”m only just now getting to k-pop albums that are a decade old.
Your thoughts on this comment thread? {original post deleted} People are memeing but I feel a lot of them actually think that Mina might have Stockholm Syndrome or something. (when in reality it’s far more likely that she negotiated for a proverbial Scrooge McDuck swimming pool of gold, with proverbial eternal blowjobs by SM staffers.)
Sorry that the OP didn’t survive the social media regret cycle. It’s generally a bad idea to ask “thoughts on this random social media post” because chances of the post staying up by the time a QRIMOLE rolls around are not great. I don’t really care what people post and comment on on social media anyway and I suggest that you don’t either. If you want to know what I generally think about a random thing, it’s generally better to just ask me directly about that random thing instead of tying it to some viral post someone made that I don’t care about and which may not survive and then writing “thoughts?” or some variation after.
This response sounds about right to me (men vs women authors writing about dark themes and getting hate is about equal). What’s your nuanced thoughts on this discussion?
I don’t sit around monitoring hate levels so I have no idea what’s objectively true but I certainly see a lot of hate of both male and female authors who write stuff that enters “forbidden territory”. But then I also see people complain about other types of books too. I think people just like to hate on authors, in general! I mean if you need proof just go on Goodreads, no author anywhere has universally positive reviews.
who drew the post art for qrimole?
If you go back to the QRIMOLE for August 2018, you can see that the artist is Qridoodles. You can even watch a video of her creating the image!
Latest Apink song was produced by Bomi’s husband, Rado of songwriting team Black Eyed Pillseung. what’s the likelihood that they got the song at “mates’ rates”? (IDK if you have that term in Aus? it’s common here in NZ.)
Yes, this is a common term in Australia also!
It’s been a long-standing concern of mine: Why do many K-pop listeners disparagingly refer to a lot of K-pop music as “Disney Channel” or “KidzBop” fluff? Is it because they sound too ‘young’? That seems to be a very different critique from sounding like a literal children’s song. Why are they being conflated? What’s so cringe about “this sound”?
I don’t actually know. I’m not even completely sure what people are talking about when they refer to those things, sonically speaking. You probably won’t find references to either in my entire decade of roundups or any of my best/worst lists. Obviously, a TV channel can explore any music that they want, and Disney films have a very wide variety of music (including notably, a lot of classical music). So all this strikes me as adjectives that people who don’t actually know stuff about music use to describe a feeling that they don’t know how to put into words. It’s the same problem that a lot of k-pop review sites have. Sure I talk shit but I have the musical knowledge to talk correctly about music when I want to. It doesn’t mean my opinion is “more right” but it does mean that I have the language I need to describe things correctly (even if I don’t use a lot of the more technical terms as I don’t want to alienate readers who are not familiar). Whereas other sites generally have to “guess” how to talk about music a lot of the time. So I think “Disney channel” and “kidz bop” comes from that, because they don’t know how to say “I’ve identified this particular thing that I don’t like and I know exactly how to describe it”, so they say “this thing reminds me of this other thing, and don’t we all hate this other thing, so we should hate this too”.
Addendum to my KidzBop question: A lot of people consider IVE’s “Rebel Heart” to be a disappointment relative to the likes of “I AM” and “After Like” . It’s been called a “generic and inoffensive empowerment song”. I mean I can hear what they’re referring to but I also identify with your take on the song? Granted there’s no objective answer but I find it fascinating to talk about.
It’s k-pop, I’m not sure what people are expecting. Sure it’s generic and inoffensive in the same manner that pretty much any pop music is generic and inoffensive, nobody’s going to start the revolution with it. I think people who are coming to k-pop looking for groundbreaking, boundary-pushing stuff are wasting their time and they should look somewhere else and investigate other music. There are other genres that do those things really well, but pop music moves the needle in very small increments. I just like “Rebel Heart” as a song, and I can recognise when the corporate pop machine chucks out a good song. Nobody seriously believes that IVE are “rebels” (see my take on their live performances in the 2025 best of list, why do you think I included that stuff) just like nobody sensible believed that the CLC girls weren’t interested in handbags and shoes in “No“. It’s just a lyrical concept that is sold really well through the music. Of course it’s bullshit – all k-pop is bullshit, really. It’s just great tasting bullshit when all the elements come together well. I think the problem is the name, if they called the song something other than “Rebel Heart” and made the lyrics about chasing a boy or something, people would probably have no problem with it. But calling it “Rebel Heart” invites comparisons to other “more rebellious” music, that “Rebel Heart” was never meant to stand alongside.
i hear that most of the time military life is very boring. just sitting around, waiting for stuff to happen… and usually nothing happens. if you were doing mandatory military service in korea, would you try to go to most of the C or D tier girl group performances on your barracks?
Yes even in full conflict it can apparently be like that, lots of nothing. I’m sure these fine upstanding gentlemen appreciate the entertainment. I their shoes, I’d go to what I could, who wouldn’t? I might die the next day (most likely of bordeom from having to clean equipment or mop floors or whatever) so gotta live while you can.
Is this common at all, artists openly shitting on their album filler tracks? I saw USA pop punk band Wheatus perform a pub gig and somebody requested a song called “Truffles. , the singer it was a “piece of shit” and kept pointing at the audience member who requested it while they performed the song. (very impressive gig actually. Mostly requests and they knew all of them off the bat.)
Often they’re actually flattered that someone even gives a fuck about the deep cuts, but it varies from group to group. Just like the audience, band members have their most and least favourite songs. Sometimes a request of a deep cut is also annoying as it may be a song the band doesn’t rehearse or even has forgotten how to play. What’s far more common though is big bands getting sick of their “one big hit” that broke them and made them famous because they feel obliged to do it at every show and that shit can get boring.
on a scale of one to ten how much does this miss the point of the original
I don’t know about “missing the point” as I’m not even sure what “point” you’re referring to exactly, but it’s definitely a downgrade.
is this also roland the farter’s work and if so what can we give him so his toots don’t turn into sharts
No idea. I’ll save my opinion of this song for if this group do an album that gets in my album reviews. Let’s lift the quality of QRIMOLE questions by not asking what I think about every lame B-side ever. We can do it, team.
is this an american thing? “exhibitionist bathrooms“. sounds nuts!
Fancy asking an Australian this, why would I even know the answer? This is my first time hearing about it. Seems pretty crazy but then so does civilians owning assault rifles and kitchen sinks with a Sarlacc pit in the base that destroys all known lifeforms but Americans seem to think that’s normal too, so idk.
Guy says about k ballads “they’re a good study aid if want to learn Korean.” assuming you don’t get AIDS from listening to them, yes?
But seriously though, is it necessary to point out the obvious like this? You’re probably in good position to answer that question.
I think that it’s important not to fall into what I like to call the “Redditor trap”. People who live on k-pop reddits often respond with criticism to people pointing out systemic issues with the k-pop system with cries of “but people already know all that stuff”. The Twice reddit insisted that telling more people about stalker Josh wasn’t useful because “well, everyone knows about him now so any more conversation is just giving him promo”, that’s just the most oxygen-wasting take ever. Never assume that just because you know stuff, others also do.
what do “side jobs” for vocalists do you foresee being elminated by gen AI? I can already picture that the “guide track” job role will be largely disappear unless the song writer/producer is a vocalist themselves, like EJae.
I can tell you right now that voiceover work is already feeling the pinch, that’s the most affected area in my experience. There are still gigs out there but they are drying up even for the very talented. Anyone in this field needs to think about diversifying what they do.
is this something we should care about or no?
No. I removed your link just to ensure people wouldn’t care. That’s how much I care about other people not caring.
geez, just cuz some Baby Boomers were assholes doesn’t that they should punish all of them. Does this seem like a spiteful move to you? {link about older Koreans being moved out of public parks}
Not spite, just one of the many, many dark sides of Korea’s unhealthy obsession with youth and beauty. Those criticising Kpopalypse for being an old fuck need to remember that older people are a “diversity” group too. Discriminating against old people isn’t any different to discriminating against black people, or asian people, or disabled people etc and people who do so need to reflect.
Who would they be learninh these things for exactly? I am pretty confident that most straight men wouldn’t care about any of this. Surely this must be to impress other women? Else if they were told that these were to appeal to straight men they were lied to.
Another thing is video says that crossing legs is seen as masculine. Well in NZ I was taught you shouldn’t cross your legs as a man since that’s a feminine thing!
This is all outdated “charm school” type stuff that women actually legitimately used to be taught 80 years ago or so. It went out of favour when women started getting those “rights” thingies. I guess in the attempt to go viral the conservative loser Twitter pipeline is trying to bring some of this old charm school stuff back, but let’s be real, nobody cares in the modern age. Women would consider pandering to this type of “I am always being scrutinised” thinking to be misogynist and male-gazey (this is actually what “male-gaze” means in reality, women being charm-schooled into a feminine archetype so they internaise acting as if they always have a very judgemental man looking at them), and ironically modern men are so clueless with non-visual cues that most of them wouldn’t even notice when a woman is doing this stuff anyway. Nobody is doing this in 2026 except online for clicks, back in the day it was about social control, these days it’s ragebait for social media views (so I deleted your Twitter link, you’re welcome).
Apparently feminists in Korea were mad that vocalist Siyoming joined QWER to pay for her future wedding, desired to have a daughter and plans to serve cupcakes at her wedding. IDK much about actual feminist academic theory so could you please give your theories regarding why ppl were mad?
Feminists should be happy, after all isn’t it a very feminist thing to exert financial control over your own wedding rather than have the guy foot the bill for everything and make all the decisions while you stand around meekly? But since I haven’t seen these supposed “mad feminists” I can’t really comment, they may not even be real. A lot of “some people say” or “feminists said this” or “liberals said this” etc etc is usually just ONE or TWO tweets that went semi-viral in the alt-right rabbit hole that people keep reposting and it usually has fuck-all to do with how people really feel. So I’ll believe this supposed outrage when I see it.
Dear and My Name is Malgeum were mainstream hits in Korea, it seems. Why did AOA Black flop but QWER succeeds, in your opinion?
QWER were marketed better as a full band concept, their agency went all-in. AOA was just “generic idol group with band frosting” and people coud tell, so they hit gold only when they dumped that and focused on being idols, whereas being in a band is very much baked into QWER’s concept.
My 2026 resolution was to try to lose weight exercising more. I have not started said resolution, and now I see that RV’s Yeri BROKE HER NECK DOING PILATES? … do they really expect us to believe that? Do YOU believe that? ’cause I sure as eff don’t but I’m staying away from Pilates just incase.
Yeah I’m not sure either, but fuck pilates.
That one gay caonima is back at it again to ask questions to either satisfy my curiosity or annoy you.
We all know 2025 was a shitty year and so was 2013 but which one would take the shit cake? Also 2011 or 2022 for their sheer quality of platinum greatness?
and
Ello, Hope that this question hasn’t been asked a billion times before, as I have been increasingly out of the loop every single year with kpop. You’ve mentioned 2025 being an afwul year for kpop. Would you attribute this to your personal preference not evolving with the sound of kpop, or would you say that the production quality of the releases themself have gone down? With production quality I mean songs becoming more generic to appeal to an increasingly growing international audience, or are we seeing more failed experimenting with clashing/incompatible elements in songs, lazy writing (like copying trends without giving thought to why the original sound works), AI slop infiltrating the scene…
So again, are we getting older and is kpop staying young, or are we seeing some enshittification because companies rather maintain status quo than take the same risks that made them big initially?
I don’t think 2025 being a bit meh is indicative of anything in particular other than luck and maybe we just need some better songwriters being a bit more prolific. We still had some killer songs. I’d be hesitant to read too mch into it. I don’t think 2025 was way, way worse than other years. 2022 was decent, against 2011 I’m not sure, I’d have to think about it way too hard but I think 2011 maybe slightly better. 2013 still takes the cake as the worst year.
Did you know that Jiwon/Jeewon/Zzzwon is apparently now playing guitar and keyboard in a band called “Latency”? I can’t say I’m blown away by their music so far; I prefer Cignature & Good Day. Hopefully some more uptempo and/or rocking tracks are in the pipeline.
That said, from the content she’s putting out, it seems like she’s doing what makes her happy, prioritizing family & friends, and taking care of her mental health. If it’s true, she’s miles ahead of where I was at 27. Props to her.
Yes I’m aware of Latency because I think about 57 of you told me about them so how could I miss them lol. I don’t like the song I’ve heard so far but she seems to be doing well, anyone who has been in the idol system and gets through to the other side of it without severe mental damage tends to be pretty good at self-care!
All the “concern” about Jeewon back in Cignature days was utter bullshit. She was completely aware of what was going on (plenty of evidence of that), and I’m sure that label sucked, but by smartly leveraging her image she got a way better deal out of it all than anyone else in that group.
i’m a kiwi and this is genuinely the first time i’m hearing about this. {some guys eats everything between two slices of bread because “It’s New Zealand”}
with a name like “cosmos”, i assume that he’s the son of greek immigrants. do the greeks immigrant community do this shit in australia, do you know?
No idea.
What I can say: there is a large Greek community where I live and I have noticed that if I go to a Greek-owned takeaway they’ll often serve yiros or falafel with potato chips actually inside the bread wrap, but a similar takeaway owned by Lebanese, Turkish, Syrians etc generally will serve the same or very similar food without chips. So maybe combining bread and fried food in one is a Greek thing? Can’t confirm though, this might just be the Greek restaurants in my area catering to the popularity of Australian fish and chip shops, need a Greek food expert to advise in the comments below.
hi kpopalypse, i heard a lot that K-pop is just pop in korean, which is true but this song sounds a lot like K-pop even though its entirely in English. i think its because a kpop writer participated in it? but what makes it sound specifically like a K-pop song? i get reminded of K-pop when i just listened to it but i cant pinpoint why
First, I definitely do not define k-pop as “pop in Korean”. K-pop has sprinkled in English as well as other languages for decades now, and some k-pop groups these days pretty much sing completely in English now (Monsta X is a good example). I tend to define k-pop generally in the same way that I do for roundups and end of year lists: stuff that is either born from the Korean industry, or trying to exist/aspiring to exist within the Korean industry. Doesn’t have to be both. So Katseye count because they’re a HYBE-built group so they exist within the purview of the Korean industry. XG count because they’re from Japan but they focus all their marketing attention in Korea, basing themselves in Korea, doing the Korean TV show circuit and k-pop events etc. Chad Future counts because although he wasn’t a k-pop, he definitely was trying to be one, same for EXP Edition, Lana etc. Whereas F1ve don’t count and I will never cover them because while they look and sound very much like a (crap) k-pop group, they aren’t from Korea, nor do they try to engage with the Korean system at all, or aspire to be in it, which sets them apart from a group like Smorz who are similar in image but have been active on the Korean promotional circuit and are very much clearly trying to “be a k-pop”. This type of definition definitely can get a bit hazy around the edges but it’s the best definition I’ve come up with so far, that broadly emcompasses all the things k-pop fans actually give a shit about and leaves out the stuff that they generally don’t, plus doesn’t open the floodgates to a whole bunch of shit I’d then have to annoyingly cover.
The song you’ve mentioned is just written in a generic R&B pop style that’s popular in k-pop at the moment, so naturally it reminds you of other things that are also a bit like that, some of which perhaps were also written by the person behind this.
Which are your preferences and why? {link of comic illustration of different female body types in underwear}
I feel like this is only really about five shapes, just with different poses, angles and clothing choices. I mean L looks good but is just I and G with more underwear help, and so on. You can tell the drawer is baised against tall skinny girls because they gave E a really crap unflattering posture for no reason. So that makes it very difficult to throw down with any fairness. I’d just have to invite them all to my place for further inspection.
Happy Lunar New Year on February Oppar
I apologise for the upcoming vent despite the holiday season is coming. I’m the person that asked you question about toxic workplace on January QRIMOLE and unfortunately ‘m likely to work at that shitty place for 2 more months as I can’t find a job yet and my mom insisted me to work more for more “work experience” (but to avoid legal problem the company drafted the contract with its affiliate company so on paper it seems like I worked for 2 different companies but in reality I work at the same company)
So do you have any advice on how to deal with a workplace with an unprofessional manager that borderlines having narcissistic disorder and their minions (everyone in that room except for me), a lack of official procedure that a newcomer like me has to resolve shits that have nothing to do with me (a “loss” of official document due to the temporary security guard, whom didn’t know he have to also act as the receptionist, didn’t give it to the postal shipper but I had to come to company on weekend to deal with it and almost had to send that document to the postal). I know I should document what happened but I received fuck-all training to know what to expect (and got blamed as “slow to understand thing”). My sister insisted me to suck it up and take note but it’s still annoying when every problem is due to me
Yeah your sister is right, if you really can’t say no to your mother for “reasons” and have to be there, then just suck it up, try to keep a low profile and use the time to plan your escape. A longer jail sentence just means more time to plan. Use the extra time to build up funds and connections to make your escape more powerful when it happens. Two more months of workplace politics and bullshit won’t kill you, it’ll make you stronger…. and richer.
Am i crazy on this? I’ve only casually been observing but I swear a lot of the things that Robert F Kennedy Jr as USA health minister or whatever seems to be doing sounds like pretty common sense bans? Like a lot of the toxic shit that’s already banned in most of the Anglosphere but for whatever reason is still in American domestic market foods.
The other day I saw that he decreed that food pyramid be flipped and all of a sudden all of the least processed foods like grains are at the top.
Are people just pushing back on this stuff because they’re so captured by idealogically zealotry that they’ll oppose anything just because Trump’s name is attached somewhere?
I have no idea what RFK Jr has been up to, in fact this question is my first knowledge that there is a person called RFK Jr. that exists. I’m amazed there’s still a surviving Kennedy, I thought they were all wiped out in the 1960s in mysterious “Epstein didn’t kill himself”-style circumstances. So I can’t answer your question other than to say that the food pyramid that I learned in school that had grains and bread right down the bottom with vegetables was pure insanity and not the way people look at nutrition these days. Bread is just straight up bad for you precisely because unless you’re literally baking it yourself from scratch with a bread maker it is guaranteed to be processed as fuck, it’s one of the most processed foods out there. Go to your household bread loaf and take a look at the ingredients list, and more than four ingredients and you’re eating poison (good tasting poison sometimes though).
Give humans five minutes and something to thump and they’ll reinvent drumming. I can see how you can go from singing to whistling to wooden/bone whistle to woodwind. Where do you think you string instruments cunts come from? Could you solo on some tent ropes? Boat rigging? Loom? Bow and arrow?
Probably. All stringed instruments follow a similar principle, which is why someone who can already play one stringed instrument can generally pick up others fairly quickly.
thoughts? this reminds me of your round-up reviews of k-rap videos where you’ll talk about the bored looking models in the MV.
p.s. what accent is the youtuber man speaking in? it sounds like unenthuisastic version of an australian accent.
Yes it does. Women standing around just to get a cheque for looking good and no other reason have a certain look about them like they’re dying on the inside while waiting for the coin. Watch enough shit rap videos like I do and you will come to identify it.
It’s just an Australian accent. Just a normal urban non-bogan non-exaggerated-for-clicks one.
You say promoters don’t like to visit your city but when amazing rock and metal acts like Metallica, Tool, Slipknot, Baby Metal do come to Adelaide you don’t go? Why not? No money? A case of a chef not wanting to eat gourmet cuisine at home cuz they spend all day making it, so they get Maccas instead?
It’s often money. Are you aware of how much concerts cost now? Unless it’s something I’m extremely keen to see, forget it.
Sometimes it’s being double-booked. Poppy played a show here just recently but I was booked to do a show of my own in another town. I played on the same festival bill as Lady Saw once and was so excited to see her set… but we were booked to play at exactly the same time, on different stages. The downside of being a working musician is that your schedule is not always clear during peak band-checking-out times.
your thoughts on his thoughts?
“it’s the dumbest and least creative people getting offended by the term slop.”
“they’re using AI to simulate something that only matters if care about human artists.”
“they see art as a utility, not as a truly creative endeavour. generative AI gets you to point A to B faster, like a car. they don’t understand that say the cistineth chapel or the thinker are impressive because they were created by a man. if a robot did it in 30 seconds, it’s not impressive.”
I hate A Dose Of Buckley’s delivery style so much. So hard to listen to, even when I agree with him.
I think we all know where I stand on AI at this point and it’s the same place where most people stand (i.e yes it’s not inherently evil but it’s a handicap at best for anything truly imaginative and it’s also in a hype bubble that desperately needs bursting for the greater good of humanity). But if there was any doubt I recently added an “AI disclosure statement” to my book pages on Amazon and Kobo (I didn’t bother with Barnes & Noble, because frankly nobody buys from there).
Honestly I think all authors will need something like this on their book blurbs now, although I’m sure a lot of people will lie about it too.
Did you feel welcomed by letter? (Danielle’s “to Bunnies” letter)
No. It’s not addressed to me.
What do you think of Chiitan in general? Are they a caonima?
Poeple have been spamming me videos of Chiitan for a while and I don’t know why as I never solicited them, nor am I Jmascotalypse. I didn’t really care about these videos, but I do appreciate Chiitan’s anti-advertising message. Asian Junkie could never. Speaking of which:
I’ve been wanting to share this video with you for a while and I regret not doing it earlier because I think it’s perfect example of what you said in your 2025 year-end favorites post about K-Pop not being great at the live experience in general (you even name dropped Dreamcatcher).
Basically, it’s the entire set of Dreamcatcher for the Primavera Sound festival. Primavera Sound is essentially a rock festival, so for this one show, Dreamcatcher and their team decided to ditch the typical K-Pop performance style, doing only minimal choreography and relying mostly on stage presence… it goes as well as you can imagine.
Jesus, that was bad… it feels like watching my drunk friend putting on a show at the karaoke bar. Except my drunk friend’s show is probably more entertaining, as he is actually feeling the moment instead of being obliged to jumped around on the stage for an hour. When they do some choreography the girls actually look more confident and the crowd response is better, so I guess there’s really no way out of this for k-pop shows.
I didn’t really have a question, but since Siyeon’s rock band just debuted today, do you think she learned a lesson from here or we can expect even worse from her when her band inevitably gets invited to a rock festival?
I think Siyeon actually is a rock music fan and probably has some genuine idea about how to behave when fronting a rock band. I guess we’ll see when her group starts playing out live somewhere…. if that happens… but yeah the girls look lost onstage. I agree the choreographed parts are better, because the girls actually know what to do there, doing rehearsed movements is more in their comfort zone. The rest of the time they look lost, like they’re not even meant to be on stage at all.
{Pledis girl groups have} technically all been Ls since Orange Caramel rapped (well, Fromis_9 unexpectedly became popular at the very end of the contract with “Supersonic” becoming a summer fap anthem in Korea) , why do you think they keep trying? Prob millions to invest into training and promoting girls, etc. Would HYBE be allowing them to keep at it if Seventeen didn’t consistently make zillions?
I definitely noticed that Pledis know when to stop throwing good money after bad, when they throw girls into the dungeon until contract expiry.
I think I’ve low key stanned all their groups at some point. I was all aboard the After School, OC and Pristin trains, to a degree.
Companies do it because you just never know. Nobody predicted in 2014 that BTS would blow up as big as they did. They’ve got the money to shoot their shot, so they do. Nobody plans for a group to fail, it just that there’s so many factors and nobody really knows what’s going to work. It’s easy to have wisdom in hindsight.
Japanese people seem to be loving their metal drummer lady PM. Your thoughts?
I don’t follow Japanese politics, but I do follow heavy metal drummers, so I’d probably approve also.
Despite listening to various subgenres of rock and metal for the majority of my life, and understanding the categorization is somewhat arbitrary, I realized I have no idea what the criteria are for distinguishing them. Despite the lyrics and screams, ChRocktikal’s KALish seems like rock to me, while James Lee/Jiaju Shen’s Hell seems like metal; but I’m not sure why I made that assessment or whether it’s even accurate. There’s such a variety of vocal styles in both categories I assume it’s not that. Since it seems probably related to instruments or music theory, I’m appealing to someone with deep expertise in both—what really distinguishes rock from metal?
Obviously there’s some subjectivity here. But keeping this answer VERY simple, I think the thing that differentiates rock from metal the most is the type of guitar playing. As soon as you remove the third scale degree from all of your chords, and turn the distortion up to saturation point, you’re getting close to some kind of metal territory. Unless you’re also playing it really sloppily, in which case it might be punk. I don’t there’s quite as much of a case for heavy metal drumming being a determining factor, although it does have its own style jazz and heavy metal drumming have some surprising similarities.
Thoughts?
She got lucky with an image shift. Good for her.
Your thoughts on her thoughts? {a Chuu video with no thoughts specified}
It’s not stated what her thoughts are. My Super Boram ESP Posers aren’t quite this good yet.
why are kpops always using these clamp things? is it a sign that they can’t play properly?
That thing is called a capo. It’s used to block off the lower frets, which is ideal for singer songwriters who want to transpose a song to a new key to match their singing voice range without having to learn new chords to match the key (which can ential learning new chord shapes, which take time to learn and may not sound as good due to the voicings being altered). You’re half-right because capos are rarely used by very accomplished guitarists. You’ll see them used fairly often in genres where the guitar is more there as singing accompaniment, like country or folk styles, whereas a virtuoso guitar player is more likely to just adapt to the challenge because using a capo reduces the options for more technical playing.
does this cover sound off to you? the guitar work sounds really weak and the lady’s vocals don’t suit the song at all. the keyboard solo sounds really off too.
The main issue for me is the vocals are mixed way too high. Korea’s vocal obsession ruining everything, as usual.
Thoughts on comedy sketch?
This got removed. But I’ve seen it before. It was called “Key and Peele removed NAZI skit” and there are other uploads too but I won’t link them here as they’ll probably just get removed as well before this post goes live. It isn’t very funny anyway so if you haven’t seen it you’re not missing anything much. Nazis are great material for jokes but that doesn’t mean every Nazi skit is funny, the entire joke over this particular skit is just “this guy is black but obviously a Nazi and making lame excuses for it” and… yeah. It’s a big miss for me. It’s not completely unfunny just as a concept, but the joke wears thin LONG before the skit is over because there’s only one “joke” at the core of it and that one single joke is stretched super-thin with very poorly scripted dialogue (which is the same problem that CrackerMilk and Viva La Dirt League have with their material and why I don’t like them any more than I like this).
Can you believe that a few years back hipsters tried to bring back cassette tapes? What lame asses! Bad enough that people are trying to make movies on VHS tape a thing again!
Did you hear that Gen Z people have started buying CDs? Not Boomers, Gen X or millennials who grew up with them properly, but Gen Z who would’ve been small children when the market was originally killed by iTunes and Spotify. Why do you think they’re buying them (mind you, they’re turning 30 this year, but still)?
Maybe not a HDD, but you must be happy with your new SSD, surely? Managed to score it before AI RAM chip hoarding companies put the prices through the roof!
Kpopalypse quote from previous QRIMOLE: “Tech has really stagnated, yes the gimmicky crap like AI is progressing, but the real shit we actually care about doesn’t seem to be. I wish it would start rocketing along again because hard drive prices haven’t gone down in years and I’m sick of having to cull bits of my porn collection to constantly make room for new stuff. Come on Moore’s Law, I’m counting on you to make my next hard drive upgrade affordable.
Cassettes suck. They were so annoying back in the 80s, the fast rate of adoption of CDs was because they were better than cassettes in every way. Better sound quality, bigger art (ok not as big as vinyl but way better than cassette omg), more durable, more reliable, and most of all, didn’t require rewinding. The hours I spent in high school class rewinding my cassettes by sticking one of the holes over a hex shaped ballpoint pen and spinning it around…”
Thank you for the SSD, definitely appreciated! I had to buy another SSD of the same size more recently (not for me, for a relative’s computer I was repairing) and I was surprised at the price. Yes they’ve definitely gone up, thanks to AI. Hopefully with fast-access SSD now being at a premium, old-school HDDs will see reduced demand and their prices can finally come down. I already have an 8TB NAS HDD but that’s constantly full and I’ve been sitting on it for about a decade now waiting for the time where it’s financially viable to upgrade it…. still fucking waiting omg…
I think GenZ are buying CDs now because they want to actually own stuff, and thanks to growing up in the digital age where everything is a “license to use content” that can be revoked at any time, I think that has an appeal. Plus CDs just sound better than everything else. Also there’s another part of this nobody is talking about, which is that some companies are going through their artists’ back-catalogue and Autotuning the vocals on it all! So by getting the original CD, you know you’re getting the music as the artist originally intended before some clown at the label thought it was a good idea to fuck with it. That’s why original editions of CDs are going for higher prices on the used market right now.
Why does RBW seem to be a house on fire, with artists and management fleeing left and right (Eg Oneus, B1A4, Lee Chaeyeon not resigning; WM Entertainment founder suing after being sacked, only for them to negotiate that he leaves peacefully with their newly debuted girl Group Uspeer to found new agency, MW Entertainment) but subsidiary DSP Media seem to be trucking on fine? Young Posse releasing new stuff regularly; KARD touring regularly internationally; KARA doing a reunion tour around Asia. RBW and DSP have the same CEO, even.
It’s funny because DSP had historically been a sort of trainwreck agency for many years after their OG founder died and his widow took over. (All prior to RBW purchase.)
(From WM to MW? This guy ain’t being subtle about it. They even have pretty much the same logo!)
No idea. I’m sure there are good reasons. Could be something as simple as staffing shifts behind closed doors, maybe certain people got reallocated to certain things, who knows. There could be a hundred reasons. There’s a lot of moving parts to any label situation and things often don’t pan out in ways that would seem logical on the outside. Classic example is New Order’s smash hit “Blue Monday”, the biggest-selling 12″ vinyl single of all time, bankrupting their own record label due to artwork costs, but there are many others! But yeah I don’t have any more idea than anybody else.
I recently watched some of your long-form videos that you posted, and I thought they were great! I was wondering if you had any reasons for making those particular topics into videos as opposed to a blogpost, or why you chose to remake the chocolate love post into a video instead of one of your other posts perhaps.
Actually the video I did about idols making money only covers part of the Chocolate Love post, I might need another video for the other half. Perhaps coming soon…. or maybe not soon, but at some point.
That post, I felt it needed updating and I thought that a video might be a good way to do it, just for something different. People always misread my “tone” when I write about such things so it’s a good way to address this also.
1. is it true that hugging is very popular in australia?
2. do your friends hug you at all?
3. do you like getting hugged? if no, do you calmly accept when ppl want to hug you?
1. Yes although it does depend a bit on your specific social group
2. Only a few, as I don’t tend to invite any physical contact with friends, I don’t habitually hug or shake hands etc
3. I generally don’t like it, but I know some people who are REALLY into it and love doing it so when around those people I’ll calmly accept so they feel more comfortable
For like 2 years I noticed a recurring pattern in your round ups. You semi regularly wrote a review saying “this song is Gfriend Mago at half speed.” Were you memeing, hoping your readers would pick up on an inside joke or whatever?
No meme, no inside joke. A lot of songs just did really sound a bit like Gfriend’s “Mago” at half speed for a while.
On average, although I do joke sometimes, I’m joking/memeing a whole lot less than readers think I am.
hello kpopalypse. a while ago, when i asked you what i should do about annoying uni friends who are very competitive and snarky, you told me to simply outdo them academically. well, ive done that – i even won an academic award for my performance – but now i feel that this particular friend likes me less than he used to? im wondering if im imagining it, but he seems to be making subtle digs at me and he’s said a few times in an off hand way that im apparently “hard to be friends with” (he’s never said before, only this academic year). i can be friends with people who are smarter than me or have better grades because im not 12, but how do i account for my friend’s behaviour? why is he acting this way? i dont think im a particularly different person than i was last year, although i guess i am more confident in myself which I dont think is a bad thing. especially because as a woman, you’re expected to have this constant humility and pretend you don’t think you’re competent. essentially, i’d like to stay friends with him, but i’m not sure if i should be too hopeful / if it’s a salvageable relationship. anyway, thank you for your amazing blog! i even read nugualert lol
Fuck him (not literally, to be clear). Obviously he’s bitter, which is good, it means that you’re now doing the annoying of others instead of being the recipient. He’ll either grow out of it, or not. Not your problem. Just keep achieving and if he can’t deal he can go hang out with his loser buddies who he doesn’t feel threatened by instead.
Thanks for reading Nugu Alert you are a real OG.
what would you prefer: an average song with phenomenal lyrics, or a phenomenal song with dog shit lyrics that are so bad you can’t ignore them?
The second one. Music is more important than lyrics, always.
so this is a mandarin language remake of kara’s honey and i’m not going to ask you which version is better because it’s so similar that asking it would be pointless but whether it fits your theory that mandarin is the sexiest language to sing and whether it makes honey a sexier song.
It doesn’t really change how I feel about anything. Mandarin still sexiest language. Song still not bad but not a very “sexy” song to begin with. Mandarin makes more difference in something like miss A’s “Touch”.
Long time no see…
How have u been?…
A few questions on my mind..
Before u stick it in
𓀐𓂺
AZEALIA BANKS EDITION
1)
Why is azealia racist against black ppl??
Afrobeats is so cool and fun.
It is better than k-poop
2)
Honestly I’m gonna have to agree with her.
Why are Australians so wack?
I mean 5 seconds of summer and iggy azealia are good, but that’s all that country has….
3)
What’s your favorite iggy b-side?
I’m sure u have many but just choose one
I’m good. Glad you’re back! Keep the bangers coming.
1. Azaelia Banks is racist against everyone, so it’s completely unsurprising that Azaelia Banks is also racist against Azaelia Banks.
2. She’s right. Why do you think I write about k-pop instead. (You ‘clipped’ it which I can’t embed, but I highly recommend readers watch the full video. Nothing but truth.)
3. How can I choose just one from so many classic tracks but I’ll go with Impossible Is Nothing because the inspiring lyrics are so profound and they are what helps me get up in the morning and gather the strength to listen to yet another average-ass k-pop track for roundup and write the same old shit…. okay not really, but unironically the thing has a half-decent backing track, Azaelia Banks over it would be fire, maybe they can collab, I’d love to see them be forced to one day just to see the Azaelia Banks reaction.
@ the person who sent the vocaloid ask with the song last time
1) i’m so glad there’s another vocaloid fan in the kpopalypse reader base (it actually seems like there’s quite a few given how fed up kpopalypse oppar seems with the questions) but more importantly
2) i think you picked maybe the worst possible song to represent vocaloid music ever. no the “insane speed” and “giddy joy” do not save it and i am baffled as to why this song is considered a classic in the community because it sounds like hot shit from a butt. for other songs full of joy and whimsy that deserve the attention popipo gets, i recommend this producer: https://www.youtube.com/@irucaice . kpopalypse won’t enjoy any of their work either but this is about getting you (anon) to listen to better music.
okay to make this actually a question for kpopalypse oppar: i faintly remember you mentioning that you grew up gaming a lot and listening to the music is what gave you an ear for melody first (as opposed to lyrics or vocal delivery). which games were you referring to, and what are your favourite game soundtracks in general?
No game in particular but back in Commodore 64 gaming days there were a very small handful of composers who knew how to write great music and/or get the most out of the C64’s sonic hardware, and they would be contracted out to do soundtracks for all the major games of the era. Rob Hubbard was the most well known one and got by far the most work, so investigate his stuff. David Whittaker, Ben Daglish and Fred Grey were others that I remember liking. Whenever a new game came out that had one of these people working on the music I’d always try to check it out. There were some bangers back then. It was easy to keep track of as publications that wrote about games would have separate ratings for music and would talk about the composers. Good times. Check out this nerdy jazz combo’s rendition of Fred Gray’s “Mutants” theme featuring the man himself:
Speakking of nerdy things it’s time for
NERD SHIT
your thoughts? {link about Microsoft removing phone activation of Windows} taking away options is not a good thing, of course. but it’s not really much of a big deal for most ppl. i remembered you can run Windows without activating it with like 95% functionality. the most notable things were having to put up with a watermark in the corner and not being able to customise the UI directly (eg turn on dark mode). you can install your wifi and/or LAN drivers at your leisure.
I always found Windows’ phone activation to be a total nuisance and it never worked properly anyway. I won’t miss it. I’m sure logistically it’s a headfuck for Microsoft to run that service too. I don’t know if it’s that big of an issue. Yes it will suck a lot for a tiny minority but it seems to me that it’s the most always-online people who complain the loudest about having to be always online!
MS recently renamed their Office 365 cloud app suite to Copilot, ie the same name as their AI integration efforts.
This is probably to trick some dumb investors: “look at how many ppl use our AI”, when it reality most of those are Office users.
My questions for you:
1. what keeps you on MS Office?
2. Are you 365 or some sort of offline version?
3. What’s so bad about open source alternatives like Libre Office?
1. I know how to use it.
2. I use an offline version from 2021 which isn’t AI-infected. I certainly won’t be upgrading to their Copolit virus, my Windows install is frozen at a time before AI implementation and I have hard backups in case Microsoft or anyone else fucks with it.
3. They’re probably fine I just would have to relearn my entire fucking workflow for every single task I do that uses more than the very basic MS Office features and that would take ages. Stuff like the objectification list vote counting actually hinges on some pretty complex Excel features to speed up the process that I’m sure LibreOffice could also do but it would probably do them slightly differently and I’d have to learn that. I’d also have to relearn how to do every single thing in the first part of this ultra-long post in order to publish another book. And don’t even get me started on what it would do to my financial records for music work. I’m sure LibreOffice or OpenOffice work great for many others but for me to move over would require an absolute mountain of headfucks. Maybe in the future the amount of headfucks Microsoft themselves give me will outweigh the hassle of changing platforms, and I might change at that stage, but for now I’m good.
if the reality is different then why do you think that they portray them as low DPS things with weighted feel in computer games?
Because people who make computer games are so busy nerding out about guns and thinking guns are the be-all-and-end-all that they forget to nerd out about other weapons. They think anything that’s not a gun or a tank (gun on wheels) is inferior to a gun and therefore must be simple and obvious. That’s my theory.
thoughts on list? any changes that you would make?
Missing Garrett from the Thief series, JC Denton from Deus Ex, Gordon Freeman from Half Life, Also seems to only be main player characters in this? Not sure why. I’d also include Princess Peach, plus GladOS and the Companion Cube from Portal and Shodan from System Shock. Some of their choices make sense, some are just weird, some I’ve never heard of due to my lack of console gaming. I’ve played Minecraft for over a decade and I didn’t even know Minecraft had characters, I just thought “Steve” was a placeholder name.
I think you’ve tricked yourself into believing that Half-Life 2 didn’t have cutscenes. It very much did and they were unskippable. Just because you can walk around and pick up things in the environment while a cinematic scripted sequence is happening doesn’t you aren’t watching glorified cutscenes. if anything they’re worse than normal cutscenes, because you can’t skip them. Eg After you finish the “Route Kanal” hovercraft vehicle section and arrive at Eli’s lab, you’re stuck there for like 15-20 minutes watching NPCs yapping at each other and there’s nothing you can do about it.
If the game still lets me control the character, even if it’s okay to do completely unconsequential shit like fuck around with objects in the room, and doesn’t take control completely away from me at any stage, that’s fine and enough to not piss me off. The number one thing that appeals to me about games is immersion, and NOT ripping control out of my hands, for action OR story content, allows me to stay immersed in the world.
One of the really annoying things I’ve found about most other FPS is that even if they try to implement a Half Life 2 style system, they still take control away from the player at key points, usually when my character gets to do anything that’s really very interesting, and then they hand the control back to me only when it’s back to generic shoot-and-loot time (Atomic Heart is like that). To me, that’s more of a glorified cutscene than what Half Life 2 does.
Your take? (Link about Cyberpunk 2 game switching to first person)
I agree first person is more immersive. I probably won’t be playing this game though because it’ll cost megabucks when it comes out. I don’t play AAA stuff because of the price tag. So I don’t care too much about this really.
What do you think about this? {some new retro FPS game}
IDK about this one. I actually played Wolfenstein 3D and Blake Stone (i.e. pretty much a glorified Total Conversion mod of Wolf 3D), they were good for the time, but we had Doom and Duke 3D come out a few short years later. I’d say if someone were making an indie game trying to work off 90’s FPS nostalgia, then going off Doom or Duke 3D would be a better idea. That way you have a larger basis to work from. Wolf 3D was just single foor maze-like levels and really enemy AI so rudimentary that you can kill them one by one as they walk through the door, once they’ve been aggro’ed.
But hey, maybe the game developer thought “there’s a gap in the Boomer Shooter market for a Wolf 3D/Blake Stone clone.” I’m sure that there was probably someone wanting a direct clone of one of those, it just wasn’t me.
EDIT: Now I read a Steam review saying that it’s only 90 mins long. I’d get better bang for buck buying an actual FPS game from 1993 from GOG or Steam and playing that. Else some of the amazing looking, full length game-sized mod campaigns for actual retro FPS games still coming out.
If this guy is able to live off making cheap games made in a Boomer Shooter FPS equivalent to RPGMaker then good for him. The Boomer Shooter retro FPS market has enough games that I’m good not buying and playing his stuff.
Could not give a single fuck. I’m tired of playing the same old stuff. I don’t care about new retro shooters unless they have something very VERY different about the gameplay (not the visuals) to draw me in. One reason why I gravitated to Infinity Nikki so hard was because for all its flaws it was something genuinely different, there’s still nothing else like it that I know of (Genshin Impact looks cosmetically similar but gameplay-wise doesn’t come close). I’m not against it, if people are buying it and liking it good for them, and if devs are making money that’s great, but I’m not particularly interested in it.
what do you think of this game’s art direction? i find it to be very, very unappealing.
I don’t hate it. Not exactly blown away either. I guess it’s different… but then not really, I mean Apex Legends looks a bit like this in places. It doesn’t appeal widly to me either tbh but I’ve seen worse.
would your PC be able to run this game?
how do they rationalise this?! this is an entry in a long running children’s computer game franchise, that’s historically been designed to run on very light system requirements for the broadest appeal. now for the recommended spec they’re asking for year 2020 high end PC specs. (2020 was 5-6 years ago now, but those are still high end components that they’re asking for.) if this is a consequence of developing on notoriously badly optimised Unreal Engine 5 then game development studios and/or Epic need to sort their shit out already!
I’m unsure. Graphics card specs always confuse the shit out of me because I don’t follow graphics cards. They always say stuff like “random letters-random numbers-more random letters or better” but I don’t know how to tell if the model number of my card is better or worse than any other card. Is it just a higher number is better? And what’s with all the prefixes and suffixes, how do I know what is better? Fucked if I know. But it doesn’t matter because I don’t play high spec games anyway, as you all know because I keep saying this a ton of times ever since I weirdly started getting all these AAA/high-spec gaming questions that I’m in no way qualified to answer.
while looking at the 20 yo Opposing Force fan remake i discovered yet another one! this one started maybe 2 years ago.
@10:00 what’s your take on this? they’re expanding/reimagining areas from the OG game. i would’ve thought doing a 1:1 remake would easier/faster? i mean it’s not like the Xen levels of HL1 which were such shit that reimagining them are arguably necessary (i.e. which they did for the HL1 main campaign remake, Black Mesa.).
@6:19 are you impressed with this animation work? I’m stunned that this is a HL2 mod, pointing out the obvious but this really does feel like several generations’ leap but it’s all more or less on the same tech from 20+ years ago.
why do you think they decided to mod HL2 Episode 2 rather than Black Mesa? they definitely doing a lot of “reinventing the wheel”, having to make entirely new assets and the like by going this route, rather than working off an existing recentish take of HL1 that was BM.
I only played the original Opposing Force very, very recently for the first time and I lasted maybe about five minutes in before getting completely bored out of my mind and uninstalling. I can’t pin down exactly why, but the setting definitely didn’t draw me in like HL1 did. Maybe if I played it closer to release date I would have liked it more. Or maybe not I dunno.
I thought the Black Mesa remake kind of sucked too. The Xen levels were the worst part of the original and expanding them to try and “fix” them was definitely a mistake, they sure made them pretty but they just prolonged the boredom even more. I ended up not completing it because I softlocked my game when it chose to autosave my game 0.5 secs before a big boss ran me over so every time I load from that point I die immediately and I don’t have any other saves. Janky fanmade crap really makes me appreciate how the original HL devs put player-friendly design first lol.
Other than this I have no opinion or thoughts. I don’t get into modding really. There was another similar question, I skipped it because I have nothing to add that isn’t mentioned here.
Thoughts?
I actually think Duke Nukem 3D has aged fairly poorly. I recently replayed it and was surprised by how quickly I lost interest. The best of the Build engine FPS games was definitely Blood. Both games suffer similar flaws (boring key-hunting, occasional fiddly jumpy-jumpy crap, sometimes cheap “ambushes”) but Blood’s setting and humour has aged far better and the weapons and violence both feel more impactful.
NOT QUESTIONS
You know the drill.
Oh naur (footage of a wallaby losing its baby out of the pouch while sprinting)
Wallaby looked a bit lost, they don’t usually go into towns so she was probably keen to get out of there fast. Don’t worry readers, Wildlife Rescue took the baby in and released it once it was old enough. Since this wasn’t a question, JAV of the Month is SGKI-067.
Not surprising, Daily Mail love to goon, don’t they?
This is a rhetorical question, so it doesn’t count as a real question, therefore this isn’t a real answer. Jav of the Month is 010126-001-CARIB featuring the outstanding “Miko” Sakura who definitely isn’t related to any other similarly spelled JAV performers who were once in Korean idol groups.
They were going to massively censor the game just to appease ONE country’s standards? Wild. Just don’t do business with them. Is gambling with that ONE country worth losing the rest of your playerbase?
Pirat Nation is an awful Twitter account, the have a lot of good updates but they also sprinkle in a lot of reactionary alt-right talking points and other toxic crap. Like a lot of gamer media these days they pander to the incels, which is a real shame as it’s probably how a lot of gamers get hooked on the dumb-dumb conservative pipeline. These outlets always pretend like they’re trying to keep politics out of games but then they go and sprinkle in the far-right dogwhistling about immigration or whatever into their feeds which isn’t even related to gaming. What a shame, back when I was a teenager playing games, people played games to have fun, not to get sucked up into being even more conservative and boring than their parents. Since your question isn’t really a question, but just more of a rant really, so is this answer. JAV of the Month is SNOS-039.
some female input on the topic of boobs: your method of determing boob size is somewhat flawed i fear… i’m a medium/small woman (32C/D, a very sad sight without a bra. think… tyla, maybe? we look almost identical) who’s very into the entire boob topic as someone deeply insecure about my size, leading to me masquerading 24/7 as someone with a big chest. not a single person in my life except for the surgeon i discussed it with knows what they actually look like, everyone just believes they’re big like that etc. naturally, i gravitate toward anything kpop boob related because of how much push up they use, especially with ex-idols mentioning that virtually everyone wears push up, and how insane east asian push up bras are – i know women who moved there and struggled finding a normal bra.
anyway, when one isn’t completely *flat* flat and has at least something, even humble, on her chest it’s very easy to fake having boobs. most women don’t know how to pick one/aren’t consistent with it so it ends up being obvious, but once you get the hang of it (which their stylists probably do) its very easy. someone like chaewon, for example, could easily be *flat* flat despite the fact that she comes across as a regular B cup. i have a friend who’s completely flat, but push up + bra pads bring her up to a B cup. that’s where the “it seems like she has some boob, but they are very stiff” comes from.
if you have at least something, the jiggle doesn’t mean anything. mine jiggle like crazy (hence why people believe they’re real), but it’s very achievable by wearing padded bras that cause spillage and sit normally on your chest, maybe even a bit too low/making your boobs look naturally slightly sagging (instead of pushing them up to your neck) while adding a significant amount of padding underneath. softer material helps as well, i’ve had both men and women squeeze mine with a bra on and nobody noticed anything. when you squeeze them, it feels like a normal boob with a bra on and the spillage adds some believability to it because you can feel the amount of flesh above the cup above at the same time as a soft bra (some victoria’s secret bras – not all – are particularly good for this, idk what their secret is tbh…). for one, i have bras that make me forget my boobs aren’t really this big, and re: “how big can you go” (because obviously you can’t fake billie eilish boobs if you’re completely flat) – i present as about karina’s/somi’s size.
so, jiggle and lack thereof usually only mean one thing: lack thereof means almost complete lack of real soft tissue, and vice versa.
one thing you have to watch out for is consistency and presence of boob in every possible piece of clothing. there’s a big difference between lack thereof and a boob constricted and pushed down by clothing. when you push a big bust down, it just ends up spreading across your chest in a way that still makes it obvious you have big boobs. i have a friend with natural boobs about eunbi’s size (that i’d seen with my own eyes with no bra on), and she very much hates them and only ever wears incredibly constricting binder-like sports bras that conceal them. it doesn’t work and you can still see she’s big.
i myself used to have boobs around natty’s size before losing weight, and at the time i hated them and tried to hide them as well (as you may notice, i have serious body image issues). it’s impossible. and not only is it impossible, the most constricting bras there are meant for pushing them down as much as possible are impossible to breathe in, much less to perform in.
the most reliable factor you have to watch out for is consistency. see, if someone is as dedicated to fooling everyone as i am, it’s virtually impossible to catch them. i have a very narrow, cherry-picked assortment of bras and you will never, ever catch me without them. that said, people as mentally ill and as dedicated as i am are very, very rare. so if you catch a usually busty woman looking way smaller all of a sudden, chances are that’s way closer to her true size.
the two examples i can give you that come to mind right now are karina and jennie. karina, for one, is 100% about my size, which you could see during waterbomb 2023. you could see some soft tissue there at certain angles which means she has *something*, but definitely not what she presents as. moreover, waterbomb 2025 made it even more obvious because they had her wear a lightly padded bra below her see-through top (instead of her usual over-the-top padding) and it’s honestly the one thing you should never do if you wanna fake it right. you will never catch me wearing a lightly padded bra.
jennie’s boobs were never as integral to her image as karina’s nor was it ever as much of a big deal, but i’ll use her as another example of how much bras change the game. at the beginning of blackpink’s career, it was usually presumed she has a decent-ish B cup, much like chaewon these days. it was obvious even back then that she’s wearing push up, but right now you can see exactly what i mean when you take a look at her now, after she ditched padded bras and started wearing more revealing clothes (sometimes with no bra). never underestimate the bra is my point, i guess.
This is outstanding insight, thank you for this. I agree that people definitely underestimate the power of underwear… and I definitely agree with you about Chaewon and Jennie. Not so sure about Karina, I mean yes she absolutely has a LOT of underwear help, but it’s also been widely reported that Karina used a compression bra during 2023 Waterbomb, so I don’t think that’s an accurate representiation of her size either, I think it’s somewhere in the middle. I do agree that she’s more “Jennie” than “Jihyo”, that seems about right to me. What’s really interesting to me though, is that you share the same opinion as the “some weirdo on a forum” that this person is talking about:
Quite a lot of people think that my boobs posts are disgusting, but what I think is more disgusting is that people can be so judgemental about others just for making mere scientific observations? Science throughout history has been censored by religion for centuries under the guise of morality, and people were put to death for pointing out things about the universe that were later proven to be true, just because the church or the king at the time disagreed or wasn’t ready for the information. I fear that you may befall a similar fate if you were to mention your Karina observations publicly… conservative prudish k-pop fans would call you weird and shun you for talking about boobs at all, meanwhile k-pop fappers would also shun you for ruining their Karina big boob fantasies. It’s the same weird schism that affected k-pop fans when Honey Popcorn debuted, where your average k-pop fans were grossed out because she was in JAV (because of the usual stereotypes about sex work being bad and porn being for creeps, see next question), whereas the k-pop fappers were also grossed out because she was in JAV (and therefore the “mystery” that fueled a lot of their fapping was gone). That’s why Kpopalypse supported Yua Mikami so heavily throughout her k-pop career. Anyway as a fellow scientist your research is safe on this site and feel free to drop me a line privately when it’s time for big boobs guide part 10. Also I hope that your self-esteem gets to the point where you can indeed be “like Jennie” and be more confident about your natural appearance (regardless of how much you choose to flaunt it or otherwise) and I’d like to think that maybe my posts might help with that in some small way. Since this wasn’t a question, JAV of the Month is SGKI-070.
IDK what the big deal is here, ppl aren’t allowed to go out and have fun? If she was on health hiatus for 8 months then maybe having the lame ass job of kpop idol was the source? From what I understand fans of Wake One boy groups seems talk about how shit ass Wake One is as an agency, so shouldn’t they know what to expect? (at least likely don’t molest them or whatever like the 143 Entertainment CEO did to former Korean members of Madein, allegedly.)
Kpop agencies are truly the makers of their own monsters by fostering this boyfriend or girlfriend experience parasocial relationship shit.
A rhetorical question as you already know the answer and have answered it yourself. I didn’t include your videos, people can have fun guessing which one of the 5023 nowhere-scandals involving some k-pop girl going out and doing totally normal shit this question is about. Jav of the Month is START-397 which fits the theme a little.
invite 5 kpop idols to your feast set in ancient mesopotamia
Why would I do that? They’ll steal all the food. I’d rather invite the five girls from FGEN-006, they look much more well fed.
(Not kpop related but…)
Ive always hated how Italian music gets ignored by music nerds on music sites like Rateyourmusic or Album Of The Year, except for Italian prog albums I guess.
So I wanted to recommend you some songs/albums by Italian bands and see what you think of them!
1) CCCP – Fedeli Alla Linea.
They were a post punk/ punk rock group, they have only 1 great album (their debut, “Affinità E Divergenze Tra il Compagno Togliatti E Noi Del Conseguimento Della Maggiore Età”) but their other 3 are far from bad or mediocre.
If i had to recommend some song by them I would have to go with ” Io Sto Bene” “Curami” “CCCP” or “Mi Ami (Remiscelata)”, but any song off of their debut is great.
2) Marlene Kuntz.
Pretty straightforward Sonic Youth influenced noise rock/ alternative rock, their first 4 albums are really good but they really shine with ” Il Vile”, give the title track, “Come Stavamo Ieri” or “3 Di 3” a listen, but “Sonica” off of their debut is amazing too.
3) Prozac+.
Female fronted pop punk/ alternative rock band.
They had one big hit with “Acida” but their best comes from their albums “3Prozac” and “Million”, give “Criminale”, ” Hey Dottore” , “Stonata’, ” Angelo ” and “Cagna” a listen.
4) Massimo Volume.
Probably my favorite Italian band oat, they make post rock with spoken word elements, the songs don’t hit like they should if you don’t understand the lyrics but the music is good enough to appreciate even without the lyrics.
Give their debut album “Stands” a listen, but their first 3 albums are all absolutely stunning.
For any individual songs, I would have to with “Atto Definitivo”, ” Inverno 85″, “Il Primo Giorno” and “Ororo” or “Cinque Strade”.
Have fun listening to some Italian music!
We will, thanks for this. Not question-related either, so JAV of the Month is NHDTA-422 which has some action in an Italian restaurant to keep with the theme.
what’s going on here? ad for underwear but she’s not shown wearing the underwear.
This is also not a question, more of a rant. I’ve had so many people mention this to me, but there’s no point in us circlejerking about it (because all I’m going to say is “yes you are correct, that is an ad for underwear where you can’t see the underwear, kinda stupid innit”). I think that if every person who alerted me to this instead campaigned the actual advertising company, we’d get better underwear ads with Jihyo in them fairly soon. JAV of the Month is MIDA-506 which is very underwear themed (but the lower half). Speaking of which…
SECOND BEST QUESTION
I’ve been a long time reader for over a decade now, and this is the first time I’ve decided to write into qrimole about a personal situation like so many of your readers do each month. I always skipped most of these because I thought ‘why are they asking for advice from some random australian guy, surely there are better, closer sources of therapy that might also be more specific help with what you’re going through, even online’. It all just seemed a bit weird. You’re part of my reason for writing in though, so I feel like it’s justified here.
Each year when your best/worst lists come out, hell, even when the weekly roundups come out, I find myself disagreeing more and more with what you think about the songs. Back when I got into kpop, I found a lot of similarity with your opinions, your favourite songs were pretty much my list, but while I still like the songs from the ‘golden age of kpop’ I find very little in common with you these days.
I’m fully aware that everyone’s music tastes change over the years, but I don’t feel like mine have very much, if at all. I still like the songs I did back then just as much, and you seem to have just the same appreciation for 80s inspired songs you always have. I’m struggling to explain why I feel this way despite both of our music tastes not appearing to have changed very much.
It’s not just the songs, though. You’ve been very vocal in recent years about the sex industry, and whlie I appreciate that you draw attention to kpop idols not having any say in their exploitation, and that we have no idea whether they’re doing it by choice or not, you seem to think that this is somehow different for the adult film industry. If anything it’s worse, with rates of trafficking and actual rape being uploaded of people who don’t even know they’re online. Korea’s molka problem surely makes this an issue close ot home for your blog, no? I appreciate that women should be allowed to dress however they like, but surely being a proponent of an industry that has brought and is bringing so much suffering to women isn’t morally good? JAV of the month is ‘girl who was forced to do this to buy ramen this month’.
My actual question is: How can I continue enjoying the parts of your blog that I still enjoy, when I can’t overcome the cognitive dissonance of disliking from the parts I don’t. I can’t know in advance which posts I’m going to enjoy, and catching up with what’s new here each week has become a fixture of my life each monday. When should you call it a day on a hobby that’s sparking less joy than it once did, when you can’t predict the level of entertainment compared to the level of distaste? It’s impossible to work out if something is more good than bad or vice versa when you can’t predict which it will be.
Music taste, I can’t really explain that any more than you can. As you say, logically, we should be pretty much on the same page but we’re not and that’s interesting. Of course without me knowing what you like I can’t really speculate on why… but then the point of my reviews isn’t to get others to agree anyway. This video may help.
JAV and k-pop are interesting for me to juxtapose because they have a lot of similarities that people would rather deny. By highlighting that I can address the “elephant in the room” with k-pop, as well as the conservative hypocrisy people have about sex. I’m a strong advocate for sex workers because I know a LOT of them in my personal life and I see what they go through, both good and bad. Yes there are some very dark sides to sex work but it’s not all like that and in fact it isn’t even mostly like that, and to believe otherwise is a stereotype. Yes stereotypes exist because there is a grain of truth in them (the heroin-addicted prostitute does exist, as does the yelling ‘crazy feminist’ in an alt-right-pipeline video) but stereotypes are damaging to hold up as the norm but because it’s unfair to tarnish all people with the same brush when that’s a minority experience and there is in fact far more diversity of experience than that. Believe it or not, the average prostitute just wants to put themselves through university, or buy nice clothes more often. Not everyone is being sex-trafficked. But don’t take my word for it.
As for JAV it not only pays significantly better than k-pop for less work (and this is true at every single tier from the major JAV celebs with their own fashion labels and endorsement deals right down to the unknowns), with more choice (the reason why some women do certain types of scenes a lot and others don’t is because choices are being made by those women), and absolutely a better diet and working conditions, it’s also the most highly regulated porn industry in the world. In fact it’s so regulated now that a lot of female actresses are now complaining that it’s gone too far under the guise of “protecting women” and it’s now very much over-regulated.
As usual, interest groups who busybody their way into pushing through “protect the women” legislation usually just end up hurting women while furthering their own conservative agendas. I’d recommend Kaho Shibuya’s book about JAV if you want to genuinely know more about it, she’s quite upfront about both the good and the bad. And there’s plenty of both good and bad in every job, not just porn. We just judge porn more because society likes to be judgy because we humans have hangups about salacious things. Not as many people are out there campaigning for the rights of electrical engineers or concrete pourers, but those are also jobs where there’s both good empolyers and bad employers, and sometimes exploitation and sometimes not, and sometimes fair pay and working conditions and sometimes slavery and human trafficking (ask anyone building skyscrapers in Dubai).
Molka and other non-consensual recording is a crime and a completely different thing to legal porn-making, and conflating the two is ideologically fraudulent. Can’t believe I have to type that, but apparently I do.
Overall though you may still disagree with everything I’ve said. But then every single reader that I have probably disagrees with about 50% of what I write (at least) at any given time about any topic at all. Just take it as entertainment, information and something to think about. Or ignore, if you prefer. I’m not asking for every reader to agree with me, that would be impossible. I don’t agree with everything that you or other people think either. If you want a life where you only consume content that you only ever agree with and that never offends or shocks you… well, let’s be honest, maybe this site isn’t for you… and maybe consumption of media on the Internet as a whole isn’t for you either. But I do hope that you can come to terms with it all. Whether you do or not, and how you feel about it, of course that’s entirely your decision. But I think that the “thought bubbles” we live in online are harmful and achieve little (which is why I said to the Jihyo underwear person above “don’t tell me, tell the fashion label”) and that’s also why I deliberately give airtime to yourself and many others who have opinions that I don’t agree with.
The following video is always relevant.
BEST QUESTION
Hello goonerpopalypse. I need to preface by saying I think you’re wrong about almost everything and it brings me great shame to seek what little knowledge you have but you’re the only alive k-pop blogger and I have no where else to go. I recently (7 months ago) started a K-pop blog. It’s not like yours at all. I hate reviewing things and I love respecting women. It was mostly somewhere to put all my ramblings because I was already rambling on a different website and I thought that since my thoughts are quite important they should have a place of their own. At first it was so easy to yap but very quickly, as I expected of myself, I got tired and even the very act of taking 30-60 minutes out of my day to post some bullshit got difficult. My whole life, the only way I’ve ever gotten things done is by waiting until someone yells at me to do it. But no one is yelling at me to do this. Some people politely ask me to post more, but that’s nothing like my mother or university threatening to kick me out if I don’t get off my ass. You’ve been doing this for 84 years. How do you find the stamina? Especially since no one is reading. I like K-pop, I like typing a lot of nonsense, I actually have a bunch of unfinished drafts in my Google Docs. How do I find it in me to finish those drafts and post regularly? It upsets me that a bald gooner has more discipline than me…
The first thing I do is stand out in the sun and absorb frequencies from the surrounding air into my body through my perfectly-sculpted dome-shaped head which is the envy of all studs and transmascs everywhere. Light rays, heat, the gentle winds, traffic noise, birdsong, stray radiation from the neighbours’ broken microwave, it all goes in, absorbed by my cranium into a singular font of pure life energy. Once I have harnessed enough energy into my cranium I go indoors and turn on my computer. Do I write? No, first I find only the most classy-sexy JAV possible and goon my hardest. Only once I am at “peak goon”, the point where just one more stroke would send me into an irreversible “goonslide”, I quickly open up my site’s admin page and begin writing. The words, powered by the peak cranial energy and driven by the solar winds of goon, flow out of my mind to the screen like an unstoppable fountain of creativity. Before long, I have pages and pages of writing, each carefully crafted sentence, word and syllable honed to perfection, each its own crystallisation of the purest, most respectful thoughts that all readers will know characterise the very best content at kpopalypse.com. I scream at the stars “YES, I AM ALIVE” as the content flows endlessly… actually, that’s all bullshit, really I just fucking force myself to do it even when I don’t always feel like it. That’s all there is. Just learn a bit of fucking discipline. Get yourself a routine or something, you weak cunt. You don’t want to be bested by this shitty blog, do you? There, I hope that gave you the motivation you needed, you’re welcome.
That’s all for this episode of QRIMOLE! This series will return next month!
Oh, and do you have a question that you’d like to see answered in the next episode of QRIMOLE? If so, use the question box below, or if no box appears, click the Qri on the sidebar to open the box as a separate webpage! Kpopalypse will return!